Well I horribly missed my marathon goal for this year - I will admit that it was crazy ambitious with the emphasis being on crazy. Oh well, there is always next year or the one after that. It's on the bucket list. Ben is quite pleased that he will not have to go tutu shopping, this year at least.
Sadly I will be leaving my position with Loblaws - the commute from the new place is just too far to be practical. I don't make enough to cover the gas I don't think. I will have to look for something part time when we get to where we are going. I think.
I am finding it challenging without Ros as the madam is still waking several times per night. I have reverted to 'new mother strategy' and am trying to nap when she does to somehow end up with enough hours to cope in a reasonable manor. It seems to be working but lots of things are not getting done as I had planned - oh well, I am sure it will come together soon.
I got my blood work back and my MCH is low and my RDW is high but the doc never called so I am assuming that its nothing major. My cholesterol is fantastic and all the rest of the results were within normal limits. The dietitian printed me off a copy when I was there last. We see a family medicine teaching unit for our family physician care so there are a bunch of residents and different professionals working in the same office - its brilliant - a one stop shop.
Well that's it, I am going to bed. As I proof read this post I am noticing it's particularly lack luster - having sat through it, that's 2 minutes of your life you will never get back - sorry about your luck :)
Friday, April 24, 2009
Finally growing again!
Down to Sick Kids again this week for the latest checkup and Olivia is holding her own. We are now on a trial of NO medication. Its very odd - each day I feel like I am forgetting something. She has been medicated since she was a week old.
She is drinking less but eating more and I think I mentioned in the previous post that we are adding whipping cream or canola oil to all her solids now. It's all a little backward but it seems she is as stubborn as both Ben and me. She should still be mainly drinking and practice eating at this point but she is mainly eating and barely drinking. Shes gaining and not dehydrated though so we're going with it. At this rate she will be on finger foods in no time.
She is standing now and on the brink of cruising. We are going to be lowering the mattress in her crib/cott this weekend as she has almost figured out how to get up to standing on her own using the bars - clever devil.
She is now closing in on 17 lbs or 7.7 kg having gained just shy of a pound in 1 1/2 weeks - holy crapinoli! Phenomenal progress considering she gained two measly ounces in the whole month previous. (A great big thank you to the dairy farmers of Canada!)
These days we are wishing she came with a volume control as she exercises her voice from morning to night. Not words yet just babbling and lots of dadadadadada which is her favorite. Ben is so pleased LOL. She has even learned to gargle and can manage it at full throttle in any pitch you can imagine. That's always good for some crazy looks from strangers.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
April goings on
Hi All,
Once again, life has been moving at a rapid pace and this wee blog has suffered. I have been pretty wrapped up in Olivia these past weeks as she has not been putting on weight. I have been hoping that she would make a turnaround and I would be able to blog on like normal but the longer I wait to post an entry, the more its getting away from me. So here is what I have been up to....
We have been having discussions with Sick Kids twice a week on average over the past 4 weeks trying various things to get her progressing again. She has put on 2 oz in a month which is crazy - she should have put on a pound to a pound and a half. We were told that it was either reflux (which she seems to be past - has been doing fine without any meds since January) or her cardiac condition is slipping and shes heading for heart failure again. Neither of these explanations made sense to us but we had to investigate both.
She has now been on Prevacid (for reflux) for the past 3 weeks which seems to be making absolutely no difference and after several doctors appointments and the final word from her cardiologist 2 days ago it turns out its not heart related. Her heart sounds like it is holding its own and she is not exhibiting the other classic signs of failure. She is however experiencing swelling/puffiness in her face when she wakes up in the morning which wears off as the day goes on. She had more blood taken this week to check for some rare syndromes that could be causing this but so far no word on that.
She is eating better these days as she becomes more accepting of solids. She is up to about 2 1/2 jars a day now of various foods that are mixed in with whipping cream or canola oil to boost the calories. Her formula quantity is where we are having problems. On top of the solids, she should be eating 24-32 oz per day and she is eating between 15-20 oz. They have been adjusting the strength of it weekly to try and get her to drink more but nothing is working.
We have another appointment at Sick Kids on Wednesday so we will see what they have to say about how to proceed then. If you have been keeping track, she was born on the 50th percentile for weight and after her first go with heart failure she slipped to the 25th. We managed to get her back up to the 50th in Jan/Feb where she stayed until early March. She is now at the 25th again. The pediatrician says she is burning through any reserve weight that she had built up early in the year. We need to find a solution in short order.
Our dear friend Roslynne who has been Olivia's Nanny since October has moved on. Her last day was Friday. She was never a Nanny by trade and stepped in for this temporary assignment when I was in rough shape last fall. She has been a friend of mine since I hired her to work at my bar which seems like 100 years ago now. She has been the most wonderful caregiver and support for us all during the time she spent with us and our friendship will continue as we see Ros on a regular basis. Olivia's "Auntie" will continue to be involved in her life as we are moving 2 minutes down the street from her next month :)
We found our next rental home. Can you believe we have already been here a year and our lease is almost up? Boy time flies!! We are moving up to Brampton to a lovely brand new semi. It was just built and has never been lived in. It's gorgeous, bigger and much better laid out than this crazy townhouse and get this - its cheaper! We move mid May and I will be sure to post pics when we get set up.
Well I guess I better get to bed....still been having trouble with insomnia but morning comes early around here so I think I should go and try to find sleep.
Once again, life has been moving at a rapid pace and this wee blog has suffered. I have been pretty wrapped up in Olivia these past weeks as she has not been putting on weight. I have been hoping that she would make a turnaround and I would be able to blog on like normal but the longer I wait to post an entry, the more its getting away from me. So here is what I have been up to....
We have been having discussions with Sick Kids twice a week on average over the past 4 weeks trying various things to get her progressing again. She has put on 2 oz in a month which is crazy - she should have put on a pound to a pound and a half. We were told that it was either reflux (which she seems to be past - has been doing fine without any meds since January) or her cardiac condition is slipping and shes heading for heart failure again. Neither of these explanations made sense to us but we had to investigate both.
She has now been on Prevacid (for reflux) for the past 3 weeks which seems to be making absolutely no difference and after several doctors appointments and the final word from her cardiologist 2 days ago it turns out its not heart related. Her heart sounds like it is holding its own and she is not exhibiting the other classic signs of failure. She is however experiencing swelling/puffiness in her face when she wakes up in the morning which wears off as the day goes on. She had more blood taken this week to check for some rare syndromes that could be causing this but so far no word on that.
She is eating better these days as she becomes more accepting of solids. She is up to about 2 1/2 jars a day now of various foods that are mixed in with whipping cream or canola oil to boost the calories. Her formula quantity is where we are having problems. On top of the solids, she should be eating 24-32 oz per day and she is eating between 15-20 oz. They have been adjusting the strength of it weekly to try and get her to drink more but nothing is working.
We have another appointment at Sick Kids on Wednesday so we will see what they have to say about how to proceed then. If you have been keeping track, she was born on the 50th percentile for weight and after her first go with heart failure she slipped to the 25th. We managed to get her back up to the 50th in Jan/Feb where she stayed until early March. She is now at the 25th again. The pediatrician says she is burning through any reserve weight that she had built up early in the year. We need to find a solution in short order.
Our dear friend Roslynne who has been Olivia's Nanny since October has moved on. Her last day was Friday. She was never a Nanny by trade and stepped in for this temporary assignment when I was in rough shape last fall. She has been a friend of mine since I hired her to work at my bar which seems like 100 years ago now. She has been the most wonderful caregiver and support for us all during the time she spent with us and our friendship will continue as we see Ros on a regular basis. Olivia's "Auntie" will continue to be involved in her life as we are moving 2 minutes down the street from her next month :)
We found our next rental home. Can you believe we have already been here a year and our lease is almost up? Boy time flies!! We are moving up to Brampton to a lovely brand new semi. It was just built and has never been lived in. It's gorgeous, bigger and much better laid out than this crazy townhouse and get this - its cheaper! We move mid May and I will be sure to post pics when we get set up.
Well I guess I better get to bed....still been having trouble with insomnia but morning comes early around here so I think I should go and try to find sleep.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Bits and Bobs
Hello All....
This is a random entry as I have been a bit slack in the 'keeping this blog up to date' department.
Late last week Olivia had her 6 month well baby visit with her pediatrician. She got her vaccinations and once again handled it like a trooper. They weighed and measured her and aside from being a tad short, she is doing really well. The big concern as you know, has always been her weight and she has hit 16 lbs and continues to float around the 50Th percentile which is great for her. The doc had a student with him again this time and was very quick to brag about Olivia's progress. He said "This is the one I was telling you about this morning, 3 months ago she was in heart failure and look at her now - she's absolutely amazing!" I was so proud :) I also discussed her overall lack of interest in solid foods and he said its very common for kids who have had a feeding tube to have developed a food aversion. She is getting referred to an Occupational Therapist to see if we can get her to want to eat better. Right now its a giant laundry generating, finger painting lesson where almost none of it actually makes it down the hatch.
And now for something completely different..... I got a job. I took a part time position at the Loblaws across the street from my house in the new optical that is opening this week. I have been wanting to get back into the working world for a while now to exercise my brain a bit and meet some new people in the area. I started training last week.
I met with my doctor today to discuss my overall health. This is the man who delivered Olivia. He had not seen her in many months so he wanted to have a listen to her heart while we were there. He was the one who discovered her murmur at 7 days old. He told me today that he had gone back to his notes about my delivery and double checked that he had personally listened to her heart when she was born and he had. He said that the holes must have been a lot bigger at birth because he could not hear them at all that day. I had always wondered about that - how they were missed at birth. Next time we will know ahead of time though due to a fetal echo.
Now where were we...ah yes, my health. I had made the appointment to discuss my weight loss goals and my frustration with my current weight. I am not sure if I had mentioned that I had lost all but 5 lbs of my pregnancy weight after O was born but with taking the Postpartum drugs, I had put it right back on within about 2 months. I told him that I weaned myself off the drugs in January but so far have not managed to take much of it off again. He explained that the drugs can cause weight gain but so does chronic stress. I need to find a way to better handle stress. I know that the crisis has passed with Olivia's health but I still can't fully relax. I feel like I am suspended in a state of heightened alert that I cannot shut off. It's kind of like stepping off a curb and almost being hit by a car and at the last second you step back and it just misses you. You stand there stunned, have a hot flash as all the adrenaline rushes through your veins as you realize how close you came. Its not just that moment that affects you. For the rest of the day and the days that follow, you make extra sure you look both ways, that you focus on traffic signals and that you are fully aware of the cars around you. Well that's the state I am stuck in now. I am very aware of Olivia's health and the markers of its progress. I wonder how long it will take for that state to start to fade off. Will I ever be a normal parent? He is sending me for all kinds of blood work to make sure that my body is functioning properly and referring me to a dietitian. It's progress.
Maybe I should try and figure out this chronic insomnia while I am at it!
That's enough rambling for one night...er morning I should say. G'night.
This is a random entry as I have been a bit slack in the 'keeping this blog up to date' department.
Late last week Olivia had her 6 month well baby visit with her pediatrician. She got her vaccinations and once again handled it like a trooper. They weighed and measured her and aside from being a tad short, she is doing really well. The big concern as you know, has always been her weight and she has hit 16 lbs and continues to float around the 50Th percentile which is great for her. The doc had a student with him again this time and was very quick to brag about Olivia's progress. He said "This is the one I was telling you about this morning, 3 months ago she was in heart failure and look at her now - she's absolutely amazing!" I was so proud :) I also discussed her overall lack of interest in solid foods and he said its very common for kids who have had a feeding tube to have developed a food aversion. She is getting referred to an Occupational Therapist to see if we can get her to want to eat better. Right now its a giant laundry generating, finger painting lesson where almost none of it actually makes it down the hatch.
And now for something completely different..... I got a job. I took a part time position at the Loblaws across the street from my house in the new optical that is opening this week. I have been wanting to get back into the working world for a while now to exercise my brain a bit and meet some new people in the area. I started training last week.
I met with my doctor today to discuss my overall health. This is the man who delivered Olivia. He had not seen her in many months so he wanted to have a listen to her heart while we were there. He was the one who discovered her murmur at 7 days old. He told me today that he had gone back to his notes about my delivery and double checked that he had personally listened to her heart when she was born and he had. He said that the holes must have been a lot bigger at birth because he could not hear them at all that day. I had always wondered about that - how they were missed at birth. Next time we will know ahead of time though due to a fetal echo.
Now where were we...ah yes, my health. I had made the appointment to discuss my weight loss goals and my frustration with my current weight. I am not sure if I had mentioned that I had lost all but 5 lbs of my pregnancy weight after O was born but with taking the Postpartum drugs, I had put it right back on within about 2 months. I told him that I weaned myself off the drugs in January but so far have not managed to take much of it off again. He explained that the drugs can cause weight gain but so does chronic stress. I need to find a way to better handle stress. I know that the crisis has passed with Olivia's health but I still can't fully relax. I feel like I am suspended in a state of heightened alert that I cannot shut off. It's kind of like stepping off a curb and almost being hit by a car and at the last second you step back and it just misses you. You stand there stunned, have a hot flash as all the adrenaline rushes through your veins as you realize how close you came. Its not just that moment that affects you. For the rest of the day and the days that follow, you make extra sure you look both ways, that you focus on traffic signals and that you are fully aware of the cars around you. Well that's the state I am stuck in now. I am very aware of Olivia's health and the markers of its progress. I wonder how long it will take for that state to start to fade off. Will I ever be a normal parent? He is sending me for all kinds of blood work to make sure that my body is functioning properly and referring me to a dietitian. It's progress.
Maybe I should try and figure out this chronic insomnia while I am at it!
That's enough rambling for one night...er morning I should say. G'night.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Niacin - the stuff of the devil
Lately I have been making great strides to take better care of myself. I am not where I want to be as far as my marathon goal but I am beyond where I want to be in other areas. I have given up refined foods, white foods and junk food. I have replaced them with whole foods, more fruits and veg, whole grains, lots of fibre and heart healthy supplements. I am also getting out walking for anywhere between 30 minutes and 3 hours per day with Olivia. It's not exactly marathon training but its a hell of a lot more than I was doing before and I feel the smartest move for me at present. As much as I would like to run that marathon, its going to take a lot more time to get this body in that kind of shape.
I am taking a multi-vitamin, 500 mg of DHA, 600 mg of EPA, 2000 IU of Vitamin D, 4 mg of Folic Acid. This is the mix I have been taking for about a year now.
Tonight I added a big vitamin B 100 complex (100 mg of all the B's) and 500 mg of Niacin. WELL, these were recommended in a book I just finished (400 mg of Niacin was the recommended dose but I could only find 500 mg dose) and my GAWD I had an awful reaction. I am sure it was the niacin as the bottle says it might cause some flushing, itching or burning sensation on the skin. They say take it before bed to lesson any reaction. So I did.
A half an hour after I took it I was started shivering. That turned into what I would compare to the kind of reaction one would have being naked in the arctic. I was out of control almost like seizing! Teeth chattering, body absolutely out of my control, rigid and shivering for an hour and a half. It was so bad that I had to wake Ben. I was not physically cold but I felt it on the inside. Poor guy was trying his best to warm me up while sweating buckets because I was not actually cold. My insides and my outside were at opposite ends of the spectrum and neither of us could do anything about it. I was under 2 duvets with Ben curled up to me and I felt as if I were freezing to death, literally. I am sure that if i could have made it to the bathroom to get into a hot shower, I would have likely burned myself as no amount of heat was warming me up. It was a very, very odd experience. Eventually it calmed down to a panic and eased up. Then the heat set in. I am now incredibly hot and cannot sleep because of it. I laid there with the window cracked (-5 out there), the fan on, all the covers off and still could not get cool enough to sleep.
This is insanity at its finest.
The niacin is in the garbage.
I am taking a multi-vitamin, 500 mg of DHA, 600 mg of EPA, 2000 IU of Vitamin D, 4 mg of Folic Acid. This is the mix I have been taking for about a year now.
Tonight I added a big vitamin B 100 complex (100 mg of all the B's) and 500 mg of Niacin. WELL, these were recommended in a book I just finished (400 mg of Niacin was the recommended dose but I could only find 500 mg dose) and my GAWD I had an awful reaction. I am sure it was the niacin as the bottle says it might cause some flushing, itching or burning sensation on the skin. They say take it before bed to lesson any reaction. So I did.
A half an hour after I took it I was started shivering. That turned into what I would compare to the kind of reaction one would have being naked in the arctic. I was out of control almost like seizing! Teeth chattering, body absolutely out of my control, rigid and shivering for an hour and a half. It was so bad that I had to wake Ben. I was not physically cold but I felt it on the inside. Poor guy was trying his best to warm me up while sweating buckets because I was not actually cold. My insides and my outside were at opposite ends of the spectrum and neither of us could do anything about it. I was under 2 duvets with Ben curled up to me and I felt as if I were freezing to death, literally. I am sure that if i could have made it to the bathroom to get into a hot shower, I would have likely burned myself as no amount of heat was warming me up. It was a very, very odd experience. Eventually it calmed down to a panic and eased up. Then the heat set in. I am now incredibly hot and cannot sleep because of it. I laid there with the window cracked (-5 out there), the fan on, all the covers off and still could not get cool enough to sleep.
This is insanity at its finest.
The niacin is in the garbage.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Rock On Gold Dust Woman
Just got in from seeing Fleetwood Mac - awesome! It took me to a strange place tonight, sitting there watching them. Their music has been with me for my entire life and there are so many great thoughts and memories tied to their songs. It reminded me of the bigger picture and made me realize that for the past few months I have been bogged down in the everyday stresses of life. Sometimes I forget that life is about so much more than that, that there is a greater purpose and that I am more than the sum of my parts. Music generally does that to me, good music - transports me to places that I seldom visit. It's been a great night. It reminded me to pull my head out of my arse and think bigger.
I need to remember that, to teach Olivia to live big, to dream big and to savour the emotional landscape of her future. I hope that she takes after me and is not afraid to go forth and carve a different path in life. I hope that she turns out like me, only better. I want to raise her to be colourful, eccentric and brave yet polished, elegant, poised and as smart as a whip. I want her to be well rounded, witty and bold. It will be a tough challenge but if anyone can do it, she can.
I made a decision tonight (with Ben's blessing of course) that if we have a girl next her middle name will be Gypsy, if its a boy, his middle name will be Danger. I wanted to call Olivia Gypsy but I got vetoed. This time its not up for discussion.
My mind is whirling, I am chewing on so many thoughts.....
I need to remember that, to teach Olivia to live big, to dream big and to savour the emotional landscape of her future. I hope that she takes after me and is not afraid to go forth and carve a different path in life. I hope that she turns out like me, only better. I want to raise her to be colourful, eccentric and brave yet polished, elegant, poised and as smart as a whip. I want her to be well rounded, witty and bold. It will be a tough challenge but if anyone can do it, she can.
I made a decision tonight (with Ben's blessing of course) that if we have a girl next her middle name will be Gypsy, if its a boy, his middle name will be Danger. I wanted to call Olivia Gypsy but I got vetoed. This time its not up for discussion.
My mind is whirling, I am chewing on so many thoughts.....
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Goodbye Grandma
Today we said a fond farewell to a wonderful woman, a beloved Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother. She had a lovely service and made her exit in exactly the way that she wanted. It's hard to believe she is gone.
It was a sad day but I am happy to believe she is now with Grandpa after 14 long years. I picture her finding him in heaven tending his garden, sneaking up from behind, tapping his shoulder and being met with the most wonderful smile and embrace ever known. I picture him twirling her around, sweeping her off her feet. I picture the tears and rejoice in their hearts, the squealing and laughter of their reunion. I picture them picking up where they left off, only more youthful, carrying on as they were for all the years they were together.
Down the road, I picture them waiting for us all, at a big backyard party in the sky with accordion music and a feast laid out on a great big picnic table in true Di Tecco style. Everyone gone before us will be there like a big family reunion. Of course there will be pasta with Grandmas famous sauce, all kinds of baked goodies and Grandpa will be dipping bread in the salad dressing. Grandma will be saying 'It's so nice to see you dear, hurry up, come and get something to eat' and Grandpa will be pinching my cheeks once again.
I'm in no rush, but as I lose more friends and family as the years go by, I'd like to think that I will see them all again someday and that we will all spend the hereafter at a great big eternal party reminiscent of all the good times we shared in this lifetime.
It was a sad day but I am happy to believe she is now with Grandpa after 14 long years. I picture her finding him in heaven tending his garden, sneaking up from behind, tapping his shoulder and being met with the most wonderful smile and embrace ever known. I picture him twirling her around, sweeping her off her feet. I picture the tears and rejoice in their hearts, the squealing and laughter of their reunion. I picture them picking up where they left off, only more youthful, carrying on as they were for all the years they were together.
Down the road, I picture them waiting for us all, at a big backyard party in the sky with accordion music and a feast laid out on a great big picnic table in true Di Tecco style. Everyone gone before us will be there like a big family reunion. Of course there will be pasta with Grandmas famous sauce, all kinds of baked goodies and Grandpa will be dipping bread in the salad dressing. Grandma will be saying 'It's so nice to see you dear, hurry up, come and get something to eat' and Grandpa will be pinching my cheeks once again.
I'm in no rush, but as I lose more friends and family as the years go by, I'd like to think that I will see them all again someday and that we will all spend the hereafter at a great big eternal party reminiscent of all the good times we shared in this lifetime.
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