It started off in a panic. The outside workers at the company Ben works at decided to strike. The future of the company was unknown at first as it could not survive a strike long term. I was livid at the situation, at the sudden uncertainty of our future. I had been caught off guard. This is not like me at all, usually I plan for contingencies, usually I always have a 'plan B' in place. This time I did not and with my hormones raging I was not a person you would want to be around for the first half of this week. Thankfully the strikers came to their senses (I have a few other choice expletives for them but since this is a family show I will hold my tongue) and decided to go back to work by the end of the week, before the demise of the company and before they ruined the lives of the 130 inside workers who had no control of their futures. Thankfully everyone's jobs were saved and life goes back to normal next week. Crisis averted.
On a positive note, Olivia had her next round of tests at Sick Kids this week. Her ASD is gone and her VSD has gone from 6mm to 4mm. This means she will lead an absolutely normal life and she is capable of anything. She will have no limitations on her life in terms of sports or physical activities and it looks like she will never need open heart surgery. There is only one thing we need to watch for now and that is a rare muscle build up in her heart from the pressure of the back flow but that is rare and so far she has no signs of it. She is doing so well in fact, that we don't have to go back for another year! I am thrilled with her progress and couldn't be prouder of our little fighter. She may have heart disease but you would never know it by looking at her, especially with that infectious smile of hers.
The week ended on a high note with the visit of my Aunt Joey whom I haven't seen in a year and a half. Seeing her just made me realize just how much I have missed her all this time. I was thrilled to be able to introduce her to my sweet Olivia who thought she was great. We had a nice BBQ in her honour on Friday and a great time was had by all. I hope it's not another year and a half until we see her again!
Saturday we just took it easy and watched movies - a nice relaxing family day, rounded out with a nap and great snacks - what more could you ask for?
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Camping = Hell
I think its Saturday, my brain is having a hard time calculating the basics. Yesterday I had a momentary lapse of sanity and decided that a last minute camping getaway would be a great family adventure. Ben got home from work around 7:30 pm and we booked a site, packed the car and off we went.
We (thankfully) decided to stay close to home and only booked at Bronte Creek on the Oakville/Burlington border. By the time we got our ice and wood and pitched our tent it was 11 pm. Besides forget a few things like a tarp (did I mention they were calling for thunderstorms) and dish soap we were in fairly good shape at that point. Then we tried to inflate our airbed and realized we left the power cord at home. This caused an impromptu 'meet the neighbours adventure' and I managed to borrow a pump - not the right one but still an electric one so we 'MacGyvered' the inflation process. We tried to transfer a sleeping Olivia from her car seat to her play yard in the tent and all hell broke loose - she was mad as hell about it and let the entire campground know. We couldn't figure it out at first but it became abundantly clear in short order that she was absolutely freaked out but the 'zipping' of the tent zippers. We tried to settle her to no avail so we put her back in the car and went for a drive to put her back to sleep.
After an hour of driving in true stalker fashion (creepily slow in repetitive loops) to ease the jarring from the potholes and gravel road bumps she was still awake and Ben and I were ready to slash our wrists. Did I mention that I never got my nap on Friday and Ben was up at 5 for the gym? Anyways, by 1:30ish we had finally worn her out and returned to the tent. We successfully transferred her but then it took another 20 minutes to close up the tent (trying to disguise the zipping).
Skip to 3 am, I wake up crippled with the support legs of the airbed jammed in my ribs and hips. At some point in the last 73 minutes of sleep, our air mattress had died a slow death and I woke to find it without any vital signs. I elbow Ben and tell him I am going home. I ask if he wants to come with me and tells me that he brought a backup roll mat in the car and he will stay with Olivia. I leave the two of them sleeping while I make my ever so slow, try-to-unzip-the-tent-without-making-the-unzip-noise-and-then-re-zip-it, exit. I make it home just after 4 am and crawl into bed.
Alarm goes off at 8 am and I begin rounding up all the stuff we forgot the night before. I bring another mattress, the cord for the original and a spare pump and other odds and ends. I get back to the campsite for 10 am to find Ben sitting half asleep at the picnic table and Olivia in her play yard. All looks well at first but then I find out that shes been up since 5 am and the BBQ lighter we bought en route last night is empty...yes brand new and it too is without vital signs. Ben is trying his best to start the fire with a flint and magnesium block and a pocket knife. Just as he is about to give up on life, I surprise him with the fact that I brought the kettle and he can have tea.
Off I go to the park store in search of a tarp and a BBQ lighter containing fuel. They have neither. Off I go, back to civilization. I find a tarp, a pack of 2 BBQ lighters, a 30m extension cord to reach the tent and of course a bag of marshmallows. I am triumphant. Back to the campground. Boyscout Ben has indeed managed to start the fire with the block and knife and is stoking the flames proudly as I arrive. Olivia on the other hand is not joining him on the current upswing in outlook. She is pissed that she has 6 square feet in which to roam. Whaaaaaaa!!!.
I spread a blanket, get some snacks and attempt to lure her back to her normally sunny disposition with toys and my undivided attention. The thunder starts to rumble. We discuss putting up the tarp before the rain starts. Olivia quickly tires with the blanket limitations and throws and all out body wiggling , wailing temper tantrum. I am careful to steer her in the opposite direction of the fire an set her free. Off she goes, on the grass and muddy bare spots toward the brush, sampling sticks and rocks just fast as I can confiscate them. Ben says 'maybe we should make brekky and then pack up'. At first I am hesitant to admit defeat. I try and reign Olivia back to the blanket which causes another temper tantrum. In her bid for freedom, she takes a bite out the ground - yes a mouthful of dirt - and begins to cry. I begin trying to scoop out the dirt she rubs her face and eyes, spreading the tears and saliva and dirt everywhere. I am stunned by the mess and that was the moment I gave in. During all this, Ben did manage to make his breakfast which in itself is almost miraculous.
Ben says why don't you take her for a drive while I pack all this up. I recall having seen a Starbucks in my earlier travels and off we go. Even that couldn't go right as the location I had seen did not have a drive-thru and the whole point of me going for the drive was to put Olivia to sleep. I have to go all the way into Burlington to get the drinks. On my way back the rain starts.
Moral of this story?
Wait until your kids are old enough to walk to go camping?
Wait until your kids stopping putting everything in their mouths to go camping?
Make sure your kids are not traumatized by zippers before making them sleep in a tent?
Make sure your air mattress doesn't leak?
Make sure you bring a pump for said air mattress?
Make sure your lighter has fuel?
Make sure you pick a weekend that they are not calling for thunderstorms?
You can choose, all I know is that we will be making sure that the camping fiasco of 2009 is a one hit wonder.
One day I should tell you about the camping fiasco of 2008....
We (thankfully) decided to stay close to home and only booked at Bronte Creek on the Oakville/Burlington border. By the time we got our ice and wood and pitched our tent it was 11 pm. Besides forget a few things like a tarp (did I mention they were calling for thunderstorms) and dish soap we were in fairly good shape at that point. Then we tried to inflate our airbed and realized we left the power cord at home. This caused an impromptu 'meet the neighbours adventure' and I managed to borrow a pump - not the right one but still an electric one so we 'MacGyvered' the inflation process. We tried to transfer a sleeping Olivia from her car seat to her play yard in the tent and all hell broke loose - she was mad as hell about it and let the entire campground know. We couldn't figure it out at first but it became abundantly clear in short order that she was absolutely freaked out but the 'zipping' of the tent zippers. We tried to settle her to no avail so we put her back in the car and went for a drive to put her back to sleep.
After an hour of driving in true stalker fashion (creepily slow in repetitive loops) to ease the jarring from the potholes and gravel road bumps she was still awake and Ben and I were ready to slash our wrists. Did I mention that I never got my nap on Friday and Ben was up at 5 for the gym? Anyways, by 1:30ish we had finally worn her out and returned to the tent. We successfully transferred her but then it took another 20 minutes to close up the tent (trying to disguise the zipping).
Skip to 3 am, I wake up crippled with the support legs of the airbed jammed in my ribs and hips. At some point in the last 73 minutes of sleep, our air mattress had died a slow death and I woke to find it without any vital signs. I elbow Ben and tell him I am going home. I ask if he wants to come with me and tells me that he brought a backup roll mat in the car and he will stay with Olivia. I leave the two of them sleeping while I make my ever so slow, try-to-unzip-the-tent-without-making-the-unzip-noise-and-then-re-zip-it, exit. I make it home just after 4 am and crawl into bed.
Alarm goes off at 8 am and I begin rounding up all the stuff we forgot the night before. I bring another mattress, the cord for the original and a spare pump and other odds and ends. I get back to the campsite for 10 am to find Ben sitting half asleep at the picnic table and Olivia in her play yard. All looks well at first but then I find out that shes been up since 5 am and the BBQ lighter we bought en route last night is empty...yes brand new and it too is without vital signs. Ben is trying his best to start the fire with a flint and magnesium block and a pocket knife. Just as he is about to give up on life, I surprise him with the fact that I brought the kettle and he can have tea.
Off I go to the park store in search of a tarp and a BBQ lighter containing fuel. They have neither. Off I go, back to civilization. I find a tarp, a pack of 2 BBQ lighters, a 30m extension cord to reach the tent and of course a bag of marshmallows. I am triumphant. Back to the campground. Boyscout Ben has indeed managed to start the fire with the block and knife and is stoking the flames proudly as I arrive. Olivia on the other hand is not joining him on the current upswing in outlook. She is pissed that she has 6 square feet in which to roam. Whaaaaaaa!!!.
I spread a blanket, get some snacks and attempt to lure her back to her normally sunny disposition with toys and my undivided attention. The thunder starts to rumble. We discuss putting up the tarp before the rain starts. Olivia quickly tires with the blanket limitations and throws and all out body wiggling , wailing temper tantrum. I am careful to steer her in the opposite direction of the fire an set her free. Off she goes, on the grass and muddy bare spots toward the brush, sampling sticks and rocks just fast as I can confiscate them. Ben says 'maybe we should make brekky and then pack up'. At first I am hesitant to admit defeat. I try and reign Olivia back to the blanket which causes another temper tantrum. In her bid for freedom, she takes a bite out the ground - yes a mouthful of dirt - and begins to cry. I begin trying to scoop out the dirt she rubs her face and eyes, spreading the tears and saliva and dirt everywhere. I am stunned by the mess and that was the moment I gave in. During all this, Ben did manage to make his breakfast which in itself is almost miraculous.
Ben says why don't you take her for a drive while I pack all this up. I recall having seen a Starbucks in my earlier travels and off we go. Even that couldn't go right as the location I had seen did not have a drive-thru and the whole point of me going for the drive was to put Olivia to sleep. I have to go all the way into Burlington to get the drinks. On my way back the rain starts.
Moral of this story?
Wait until your kids are old enough to walk to go camping?
Wait until your kids stopping putting everything in their mouths to go camping?
Make sure your kids are not traumatized by zippers before making them sleep in a tent?
Make sure your air mattress doesn't leak?
Make sure you bring a pump for said air mattress?
Make sure your lighter has fuel?
Make sure you pick a weekend that they are not calling for thunderstorms?
You can choose, all I know is that we will be making sure that the camping fiasco of 2009 is a one hit wonder.
One day I should tell you about the camping fiasco of 2008....
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Whew ~ glad that's over!
I have been keeping away from this blog for a few weeks in order to not let the cat out of the bag. Ben and I are expecting # 2 in early February and we couldn't be happier. I'm glad that's over and now I can get on with babbling on about all things Alabaster :)
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Just a borrowed thought
I'm not a religious person but I came across this story and I instantly loved it. I just thought I would share....
"Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. She especially enjoyed the love she saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day she saw suffering in the world. She approached God and sadly asked, “Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?” God paused for a moment and replied, “Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people’s hearts.” The little soul was confused. “What do you mean,” she asked.” God replied, “Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone.”
The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, “The suffering soul unlocks the love in people’s hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love – to create this miracle - for the good of all humanity.”
Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain herself. With her wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, “I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people’s hearts! I want to create that miracle!” God smiled and said, “You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you.
In parting, God said, “Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed.”
At that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through her suffering and God’s strength, she unlocked the goodness and love in people’s hearts. Many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Lives changed forever. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. ~ John Alessi
"Not too long ago in Heaven there was a little soul who took wonder in observing the world. She especially enjoyed the love she saw there and often expressed this joy with God. One day however the little soul was sad, for on this day she saw suffering in the world. She approached God and sadly asked, “Why do bad things happen; why is there suffering in the world?” God paused for a moment and replied, “Little soul, do not be sad, for the suffering you see, unlocks the love in people’s hearts.” The little soul was confused. “What do you mean,” she asked.” God replied, “Have you not noticed the goodness and love that is the offspring of that suffering? Look at how people come together, drop their differences and show their love and compassion for those who suffer. All their other motivations disappear and they become motivated by love alone.”
The little soul began to understand and listened attentively as God continued, “The suffering soul unlocks the love in people’s hearts much like the sun and the rain unlock the flower within the seed. I created everyone with endless love in their heart, but unfortunately most people keep it locked up and hardly share it with anyone. They are afraid to let their love shine freely, because they are afraid of being hurt. But a suffering soul unlocks that love. I tell you this - it is the greatest miracle of all. Many souls have bravely chosen to go into the world and suffer - to unlock this love – to create this miracle - for the good of all humanity.”
Just then the little soul got a wonderful idea and could hardly contain herself. With her wings fluttering, bouncing up and down, the little soul excitedly replied, “I am brave; let me go! I would like to go into the world and suffer so that I can unlock the goodness and love in people’s hearts! I want to create that miracle!” God smiled and said, “You are a brave soul I know, and thus I will grant your request. But even though you are very brave you will not be able to do this alone. I have known since the beginning of time that you would ask for this and so I have carefully selected many souls to care for you on your journey. Those souls will help you create your miracle; however they will also share in your suffering. Two of these souls are most special and will care for you, help you and suffer along with you, far beyond the others. They have already chosen a name for you.
In parting, God said, “Do not forget little soul that I will be with you always. Although you have agreed to bear the pain, you will do so through my strength. And if the time should come when you feel that you have suffered enough, just say the word, think the thought, and you will be healed.”
At that moment the brave little soul was born into the world, and through her suffering and God’s strength, she unlocked the goodness and love in people’s hearts. Many people dropped their differences and came together to show their love. Priorities became properly aligned. People gave from their hearts. Those that were always too busy found time. Parents hugged their children tighter. Friends and family grew closer. Old friends got together and new friendships were made. Distant family reunited, and every family spent more time together. Lives changed forever. The world was a better place. The miracle had happened. ~ John Alessi
Thursday, May 21, 2009
We're In
Well this move has set several new records....
- longest time we have ever paid movers - took them 9 hours
- most damage done - broken screen door and 3 walls now need paint work
- most electrical problems - all the outlets on the upper floor would not work, the CO2 detector was faulty and went off and all but one of the telephone jack wires are running to a mythical place that we have not yet discovered
- most calls placed to Bell to get services sorted out - upwards of 20 and about 400 minutes on my cell phone
- fastest unpacking - 4 days!! All that is left is to hang the art
I'm exhausted....
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Today is a sad one. I am sure you all recall me telling you about Kayleigh Anne Freeman and that I follow her blog daily. She is a heart baby that has been through 250+ procedures since her birth last June. She was born 1 lb and 1 oz and survived some incredible odds. Well she lost her battle last night. At 9:44 she passed away. I am having a very hard time with this news. I never physically knew her but I have checked in with this family on a daily basis through their blog for the last 7 months or so. I found them while searching for answers about Olivia's condition.
Kayleigh was an example of worst case scenario as far as heart conditions go, exacerbated by the fact that she was 3 months premature and her systems were not stable.
My heart is breaking for this family, as it has in many tough times in the past when things looked grim. Today I am kind of suspended in a state of shock and sadness. Its a parent's worst nightmare.
This hits very close to home as there was only subtle differences between her heart condition and Olivia's. I could not imagine loosing my dear sweet Olivia - I am not sure I could survive that - literally. I am so very grateful that our child is getting stronger every day but I am also so heartbroken for the Freemans. I know that Kayleigh is in a better place now and that she is no longer in any pain or discomfort and that brings me some kind of peace.
I don't know what else to say, all I can do is cry.
Kayleigh was an example of worst case scenario as far as heart conditions go, exacerbated by the fact that she was 3 months premature and her systems were not stable.
My heart is breaking for this family, as it has in many tough times in the past when things looked grim. Today I am kind of suspended in a state of shock and sadness. Its a parent's worst nightmare.
This hits very close to home as there was only subtle differences between her heart condition and Olivia's. I could not imagine loosing my dear sweet Olivia - I am not sure I could survive that - literally. I am so very grateful that our child is getting stronger every day but I am also so heartbroken for the Freemans. I know that Kayleigh is in a better place now and that she is no longer in any pain or discomfort and that brings me some kind of peace.
I don't know what else to say, all I can do is cry.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Chaos Abounds
Moving is quite possibly the most thrilling and horrific experience known to man. I should know...I have moved 16 1/2 times in my life - 11 1/2 of those in the last 10 years and this is the 5 1/2th move with Ben. I think its safe to say that I picked a winner. If you can survive 5 and a half moves in 3 years with anyone, its meant to be. A half move you ask? Well there was Texas last year, while we still maintained our place in BC, we had a whole other place there. It was furnished mind you, but we still had a tonne of stuff there and had to ship all kinds of stuff home at the end. Moving through the mail is actually quite cost efficient but the post people don't really like it. They get a little crusty when you attempt to pick up your 30Th Rubbermaid tote.
5 days until *this* moving day...everywhere I look is a disaster in this house. The basement is packed, the main floor is 95% done and upstairs is about 50% done. This is the most organized move I have ever done. Our goal is to be calm, organized, ready and perhaps giddy when the movers show up. Let's see if it works. We have 3 trucks and 4 moving men coming on Saturday so hopefully this will be somewhat painless. Fingers crossed.
We bought a new couch set on Monday - new to us I should say. Got a steal of a deal on a used leather couch, love and chair and while its got some blemishes, its overall look it quite good. We hummed and hawed about getting a brand new set but I think this was smarter, if Olivia were to say draw our portraits on it one day with a magic marker, I would not cry.
I had a wonderful first Mother's Day yesterday. Olivia and Ben got me a gorgeous Swarovski crystal ring. We had a fun family weekend of packing and getting organized. There was even some hysterical laughter as we went through old boxes and strolled down memory lane.
Olivia is doing well, growing and thriving beautifully. We did have a hiccup last week as we attempted to try her on regular formula to see if she had outgrown her lactose intolerance. NOPE shes still intolerant (which by the way I figured out myself when she was a month old and the docs had no clue). She refused to drink and we went through what they call a 'bottle strike' for 4 days. We're back on track now though and back up to cruising speed.
Today I came across an ad online from a local family in trouble. They couldn't make ends meet and their kids were going hungry. Now I know that there are all kinds of scammers out there but for some reason I knew this ad was real. I contacted the mother right away and found out how old the 3 kids were. They had been to the food bank but their allotment was insufficient (all she has left for the week was pasta and rice) and she doesn't get paid until next week. It broke my heart to think of these kids going hungry so Ben and I packed up a huge box out of our deep freezer for them full of meat, fish and veggies and drove it over to their home. One look at the house and I knew it was just as she said it was. She and her kids answered the door, they were so grateful for our stuff, I was grateful to have made a real difference to some people in need.
I really enjoy helping others, especially those in dire need. I know there are organizations out there that do it on a large scale but to me its not the same. I get such joy out of helping those who really need it, in person, face to face. It is the best feeling in the world.
Last year at Christmas, Ben and I helped out another family in need, the Freemans, who have preemie heart baby that I have mentioned before. They are actually going to be featured on 'The Doctors' TV show this month. Their gal Kayleigh has been through 248 procedures since birth and is not even a year old, she has never made it out of the hospital and its not likely she will. It's a long and complicated story which you can read all about at http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/ if you wish.
This year we are going to try and make Christmas happen for a local family who would otherwise not be able to do it. We are going to see if we can find an organization to hook us up with a needy family and provide Christmas dinner and a present for each family member.
I feel the need to find a good outlet for my ever increasing desire to help those in need. I have some ideas but I will save those for another day as this entry is now getting out of hand. Anyhoo, that's about all I have to say about that....for now
5 days until *this* moving day...everywhere I look is a disaster in this house. The basement is packed, the main floor is 95% done and upstairs is about 50% done. This is the most organized move I have ever done. Our goal is to be calm, organized, ready and perhaps giddy when the movers show up. Let's see if it works. We have 3 trucks and 4 moving men coming on Saturday so hopefully this will be somewhat painless. Fingers crossed.
We bought a new couch set on Monday - new to us I should say. Got a steal of a deal on a used leather couch, love and chair and while its got some blemishes, its overall look it quite good. We hummed and hawed about getting a brand new set but I think this was smarter, if Olivia were to say draw our portraits on it one day with a magic marker, I would not cry.
I had a wonderful first Mother's Day yesterday. Olivia and Ben got me a gorgeous Swarovski crystal ring. We had a fun family weekend of packing and getting organized. There was even some hysterical laughter as we went through old boxes and strolled down memory lane.
Olivia is doing well, growing and thriving beautifully. We did have a hiccup last week as we attempted to try her on regular formula to see if she had outgrown her lactose intolerance. NOPE shes still intolerant (which by the way I figured out myself when she was a month old and the docs had no clue). She refused to drink and we went through what they call a 'bottle strike' for 4 days. We're back on track now though and back up to cruising speed.
Today I came across an ad online from a local family in trouble. They couldn't make ends meet and their kids were going hungry. Now I know that there are all kinds of scammers out there but for some reason I knew this ad was real. I contacted the mother right away and found out how old the 3 kids were. They had been to the food bank but their allotment was insufficient (all she has left for the week was pasta and rice) and she doesn't get paid until next week. It broke my heart to think of these kids going hungry so Ben and I packed up a huge box out of our deep freezer for them full of meat, fish and veggies and drove it over to their home. One look at the house and I knew it was just as she said it was. She and her kids answered the door, they were so grateful for our stuff, I was grateful to have made a real difference to some people in need.
I really enjoy helping others, especially those in dire need. I know there are organizations out there that do it on a large scale but to me its not the same. I get such joy out of helping those who really need it, in person, face to face. It is the best feeling in the world.
Last year at Christmas, Ben and I helped out another family in need, the Freemans, who have preemie heart baby that I have mentioned before. They are actually going to be featured on 'The Doctors' TV show this month. Their gal Kayleigh has been through 248 procedures since birth and is not even a year old, she has never made it out of the hospital and its not likely she will. It's a long and complicated story which you can read all about at http://kayleighannefreeman.blogspot.com/ if you wish.
This year we are going to try and make Christmas happen for a local family who would otherwise not be able to do it. We are going to see if we can find an organization to hook us up with a needy family and provide Christmas dinner and a present for each family member.
I feel the need to find a good outlet for my ever increasing desire to help those in need. I have some ideas but I will save those for another day as this entry is now getting out of hand. Anyhoo, that's about all I have to say about that....for now
Friday, April 24, 2009
Tutus and Tidbits
Well I horribly missed my marathon goal for this year - I will admit that it was crazy ambitious with the emphasis being on crazy. Oh well, there is always next year or the one after that. It's on the bucket list. Ben is quite pleased that he will not have to go tutu shopping, this year at least.
Sadly I will be leaving my position with Loblaws - the commute from the new place is just too far to be practical. I don't make enough to cover the gas I don't think. I will have to look for something part time when we get to where we are going. I think.
I am finding it challenging without Ros as the madam is still waking several times per night. I have reverted to 'new mother strategy' and am trying to nap when she does to somehow end up with enough hours to cope in a reasonable manor. It seems to be working but lots of things are not getting done as I had planned - oh well, I am sure it will come together soon.
I got my blood work back and my MCH is low and my RDW is high but the doc never called so I am assuming that its nothing major. My cholesterol is fantastic and all the rest of the results were within normal limits. The dietitian printed me off a copy when I was there last. We see a family medicine teaching unit for our family physician care so there are a bunch of residents and different professionals working in the same office - its brilliant - a one stop shop.
Well that's it, I am going to bed. As I proof read this post I am noticing it's particularly lack luster - having sat through it, that's 2 minutes of your life you will never get back - sorry about your luck :)
Sadly I will be leaving my position with Loblaws - the commute from the new place is just too far to be practical. I don't make enough to cover the gas I don't think. I will have to look for something part time when we get to where we are going. I think.
I am finding it challenging without Ros as the madam is still waking several times per night. I have reverted to 'new mother strategy' and am trying to nap when she does to somehow end up with enough hours to cope in a reasonable manor. It seems to be working but lots of things are not getting done as I had planned - oh well, I am sure it will come together soon.
I got my blood work back and my MCH is low and my RDW is high but the doc never called so I am assuming that its nothing major. My cholesterol is fantastic and all the rest of the results were within normal limits. The dietitian printed me off a copy when I was there last. We see a family medicine teaching unit for our family physician care so there are a bunch of residents and different professionals working in the same office - its brilliant - a one stop shop.
Well that's it, I am going to bed. As I proof read this post I am noticing it's particularly lack luster - having sat through it, that's 2 minutes of your life you will never get back - sorry about your luck :)
Finally growing again!
Down to Sick Kids again this week for the latest checkup and Olivia is holding her own. We are now on a trial of NO medication. Its very odd - each day I feel like I am forgetting something. She has been medicated since she was a week old.
She is drinking less but eating more and I think I mentioned in the previous post that we are adding whipping cream or canola oil to all her solids now. It's all a little backward but it seems she is as stubborn as both Ben and me. She should still be mainly drinking and practice eating at this point but she is mainly eating and barely drinking. Shes gaining and not dehydrated though so we're going with it. At this rate she will be on finger foods in no time.
She is standing now and on the brink of cruising. We are going to be lowering the mattress in her crib/cott this weekend as she has almost figured out how to get up to standing on her own using the bars - clever devil.
She is now closing in on 17 lbs or 7.7 kg having gained just shy of a pound in 1 1/2 weeks - holy crapinoli! Phenomenal progress considering she gained two measly ounces in the whole month previous. (A great big thank you to the dairy farmers of Canada!)
These days we are wishing she came with a volume control as she exercises her voice from morning to night. Not words yet just babbling and lots of dadadadadada which is her favorite. Ben is so pleased LOL. She has even learned to gargle and can manage it at full throttle in any pitch you can imagine. That's always good for some crazy looks from strangers.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
April goings on
Hi All,
Once again, life has been moving at a rapid pace and this wee blog has suffered. I have been pretty wrapped up in Olivia these past weeks as she has not been putting on weight. I have been hoping that she would make a turnaround and I would be able to blog on like normal but the longer I wait to post an entry, the more its getting away from me. So here is what I have been up to....
We have been having discussions with Sick Kids twice a week on average over the past 4 weeks trying various things to get her progressing again. She has put on 2 oz in a month which is crazy - she should have put on a pound to a pound and a half. We were told that it was either reflux (which she seems to be past - has been doing fine without any meds since January) or her cardiac condition is slipping and shes heading for heart failure again. Neither of these explanations made sense to us but we had to investigate both.
She has now been on Prevacid (for reflux) for the past 3 weeks which seems to be making absolutely no difference and after several doctors appointments and the final word from her cardiologist 2 days ago it turns out its not heart related. Her heart sounds like it is holding its own and she is not exhibiting the other classic signs of failure. She is however experiencing swelling/puffiness in her face when she wakes up in the morning which wears off as the day goes on. She had more blood taken this week to check for some rare syndromes that could be causing this but so far no word on that.
She is eating better these days as she becomes more accepting of solids. She is up to about 2 1/2 jars a day now of various foods that are mixed in with whipping cream or canola oil to boost the calories. Her formula quantity is where we are having problems. On top of the solids, she should be eating 24-32 oz per day and she is eating between 15-20 oz. They have been adjusting the strength of it weekly to try and get her to drink more but nothing is working.
We have another appointment at Sick Kids on Wednesday so we will see what they have to say about how to proceed then. If you have been keeping track, she was born on the 50th percentile for weight and after her first go with heart failure she slipped to the 25th. We managed to get her back up to the 50th in Jan/Feb where she stayed until early March. She is now at the 25th again. The pediatrician says she is burning through any reserve weight that she had built up early in the year. We need to find a solution in short order.
Our dear friend Roslynne who has been Olivia's Nanny since October has moved on. Her last day was Friday. She was never a Nanny by trade and stepped in for this temporary assignment when I was in rough shape last fall. She has been a friend of mine since I hired her to work at my bar which seems like 100 years ago now. She has been the most wonderful caregiver and support for us all during the time she spent with us and our friendship will continue as we see Ros on a regular basis. Olivia's "Auntie" will continue to be involved in her life as we are moving 2 minutes down the street from her next month :)
We found our next rental home. Can you believe we have already been here a year and our lease is almost up? Boy time flies!! We are moving up to Brampton to a lovely brand new semi. It was just built and has never been lived in. It's gorgeous, bigger and much better laid out than this crazy townhouse and get this - its cheaper! We move mid May and I will be sure to post pics when we get set up.
Well I guess I better get to bed....still been having trouble with insomnia but morning comes early around here so I think I should go and try to find sleep.
Once again, life has been moving at a rapid pace and this wee blog has suffered. I have been pretty wrapped up in Olivia these past weeks as she has not been putting on weight. I have been hoping that she would make a turnaround and I would be able to blog on like normal but the longer I wait to post an entry, the more its getting away from me. So here is what I have been up to....
We have been having discussions with Sick Kids twice a week on average over the past 4 weeks trying various things to get her progressing again. She has put on 2 oz in a month which is crazy - she should have put on a pound to a pound and a half. We were told that it was either reflux (which she seems to be past - has been doing fine without any meds since January) or her cardiac condition is slipping and shes heading for heart failure again. Neither of these explanations made sense to us but we had to investigate both.
She has now been on Prevacid (for reflux) for the past 3 weeks which seems to be making absolutely no difference and after several doctors appointments and the final word from her cardiologist 2 days ago it turns out its not heart related. Her heart sounds like it is holding its own and she is not exhibiting the other classic signs of failure. She is however experiencing swelling/puffiness in her face when she wakes up in the morning which wears off as the day goes on. She had more blood taken this week to check for some rare syndromes that could be causing this but so far no word on that.
She is eating better these days as she becomes more accepting of solids. She is up to about 2 1/2 jars a day now of various foods that are mixed in with whipping cream or canola oil to boost the calories. Her formula quantity is where we are having problems. On top of the solids, she should be eating 24-32 oz per day and she is eating between 15-20 oz. They have been adjusting the strength of it weekly to try and get her to drink more but nothing is working.
We have another appointment at Sick Kids on Wednesday so we will see what they have to say about how to proceed then. If you have been keeping track, she was born on the 50th percentile for weight and after her first go with heart failure she slipped to the 25th. We managed to get her back up to the 50th in Jan/Feb where she stayed until early March. She is now at the 25th again. The pediatrician says she is burning through any reserve weight that she had built up early in the year. We need to find a solution in short order.
Our dear friend Roslynne who has been Olivia's Nanny since October has moved on. Her last day was Friday. She was never a Nanny by trade and stepped in for this temporary assignment when I was in rough shape last fall. She has been a friend of mine since I hired her to work at my bar which seems like 100 years ago now. She has been the most wonderful caregiver and support for us all during the time she spent with us and our friendship will continue as we see Ros on a regular basis. Olivia's "Auntie" will continue to be involved in her life as we are moving 2 minutes down the street from her next month :)
We found our next rental home. Can you believe we have already been here a year and our lease is almost up? Boy time flies!! We are moving up to Brampton to a lovely brand new semi. It was just built and has never been lived in. It's gorgeous, bigger and much better laid out than this crazy townhouse and get this - its cheaper! We move mid May and I will be sure to post pics when we get set up.
Well I guess I better get to bed....still been having trouble with insomnia but morning comes early around here so I think I should go and try to find sleep.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Bits and Bobs
Hello All....
This is a random entry as I have been a bit slack in the 'keeping this blog up to date' department.
Late last week Olivia had her 6 month well baby visit with her pediatrician. She got her vaccinations and once again handled it like a trooper. They weighed and measured her and aside from being a tad short, she is doing really well. The big concern as you know, has always been her weight and she has hit 16 lbs and continues to float around the 50Th percentile which is great for her. The doc had a student with him again this time and was very quick to brag about Olivia's progress. He said "This is the one I was telling you about this morning, 3 months ago she was in heart failure and look at her now - she's absolutely amazing!" I was so proud :) I also discussed her overall lack of interest in solid foods and he said its very common for kids who have had a feeding tube to have developed a food aversion. She is getting referred to an Occupational Therapist to see if we can get her to want to eat better. Right now its a giant laundry generating, finger painting lesson where almost none of it actually makes it down the hatch.
And now for something completely different..... I got a job. I took a part time position at the Loblaws across the street from my house in the new optical that is opening this week. I have been wanting to get back into the working world for a while now to exercise my brain a bit and meet some new people in the area. I started training last week.
I met with my doctor today to discuss my overall health. This is the man who delivered Olivia. He had not seen her in many months so he wanted to have a listen to her heart while we were there. He was the one who discovered her murmur at 7 days old. He told me today that he had gone back to his notes about my delivery and double checked that he had personally listened to her heart when she was born and he had. He said that the holes must have been a lot bigger at birth because he could not hear them at all that day. I had always wondered about that - how they were missed at birth. Next time we will know ahead of time though due to a fetal echo.
Now where were we...ah yes, my health. I had made the appointment to discuss my weight loss goals and my frustration with my current weight. I am not sure if I had mentioned that I had lost all but 5 lbs of my pregnancy weight after O was born but with taking the Postpartum drugs, I had put it right back on within about 2 months. I told him that I weaned myself off the drugs in January but so far have not managed to take much of it off again. He explained that the drugs can cause weight gain but so does chronic stress. I need to find a way to better handle stress. I know that the crisis has passed with Olivia's health but I still can't fully relax. I feel like I am suspended in a state of heightened alert that I cannot shut off. It's kind of like stepping off a curb and almost being hit by a car and at the last second you step back and it just misses you. You stand there stunned, have a hot flash as all the adrenaline rushes through your veins as you realize how close you came. Its not just that moment that affects you. For the rest of the day and the days that follow, you make extra sure you look both ways, that you focus on traffic signals and that you are fully aware of the cars around you. Well that's the state I am stuck in now. I am very aware of Olivia's health and the markers of its progress. I wonder how long it will take for that state to start to fade off. Will I ever be a normal parent? He is sending me for all kinds of blood work to make sure that my body is functioning properly and referring me to a dietitian. It's progress.
Maybe I should try and figure out this chronic insomnia while I am at it!
That's enough rambling for one night...er morning I should say. G'night.
This is a random entry as I have been a bit slack in the 'keeping this blog up to date' department.
Late last week Olivia had her 6 month well baby visit with her pediatrician. She got her vaccinations and once again handled it like a trooper. They weighed and measured her and aside from being a tad short, she is doing really well. The big concern as you know, has always been her weight and she has hit 16 lbs and continues to float around the 50Th percentile which is great for her. The doc had a student with him again this time and was very quick to brag about Olivia's progress. He said "This is the one I was telling you about this morning, 3 months ago she was in heart failure and look at her now - she's absolutely amazing!" I was so proud :) I also discussed her overall lack of interest in solid foods and he said its very common for kids who have had a feeding tube to have developed a food aversion. She is getting referred to an Occupational Therapist to see if we can get her to want to eat better. Right now its a giant laundry generating, finger painting lesson where almost none of it actually makes it down the hatch.
And now for something completely different..... I got a job. I took a part time position at the Loblaws across the street from my house in the new optical that is opening this week. I have been wanting to get back into the working world for a while now to exercise my brain a bit and meet some new people in the area. I started training last week.
I met with my doctor today to discuss my overall health. This is the man who delivered Olivia. He had not seen her in many months so he wanted to have a listen to her heart while we were there. He was the one who discovered her murmur at 7 days old. He told me today that he had gone back to his notes about my delivery and double checked that he had personally listened to her heart when she was born and he had. He said that the holes must have been a lot bigger at birth because he could not hear them at all that day. I had always wondered about that - how they were missed at birth. Next time we will know ahead of time though due to a fetal echo.
Now where were we...ah yes, my health. I had made the appointment to discuss my weight loss goals and my frustration with my current weight. I am not sure if I had mentioned that I had lost all but 5 lbs of my pregnancy weight after O was born but with taking the Postpartum drugs, I had put it right back on within about 2 months. I told him that I weaned myself off the drugs in January but so far have not managed to take much of it off again. He explained that the drugs can cause weight gain but so does chronic stress. I need to find a way to better handle stress. I know that the crisis has passed with Olivia's health but I still can't fully relax. I feel like I am suspended in a state of heightened alert that I cannot shut off. It's kind of like stepping off a curb and almost being hit by a car and at the last second you step back and it just misses you. You stand there stunned, have a hot flash as all the adrenaline rushes through your veins as you realize how close you came. Its not just that moment that affects you. For the rest of the day and the days that follow, you make extra sure you look both ways, that you focus on traffic signals and that you are fully aware of the cars around you. Well that's the state I am stuck in now. I am very aware of Olivia's health and the markers of its progress. I wonder how long it will take for that state to start to fade off. Will I ever be a normal parent? He is sending me for all kinds of blood work to make sure that my body is functioning properly and referring me to a dietitian. It's progress.
Maybe I should try and figure out this chronic insomnia while I am at it!
That's enough rambling for one night...er morning I should say. G'night.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Niacin - the stuff of the devil
Lately I have been making great strides to take better care of myself. I am not where I want to be as far as my marathon goal but I am beyond where I want to be in other areas. I have given up refined foods, white foods and junk food. I have replaced them with whole foods, more fruits and veg, whole grains, lots of fibre and heart healthy supplements. I am also getting out walking for anywhere between 30 minutes and 3 hours per day with Olivia. It's not exactly marathon training but its a hell of a lot more than I was doing before and I feel the smartest move for me at present. As much as I would like to run that marathon, its going to take a lot more time to get this body in that kind of shape.
I am taking a multi-vitamin, 500 mg of DHA, 600 mg of EPA, 2000 IU of Vitamin D, 4 mg of Folic Acid. This is the mix I have been taking for about a year now.
Tonight I added a big vitamin B 100 complex (100 mg of all the B's) and 500 mg of Niacin. WELL, these were recommended in a book I just finished (400 mg of Niacin was the recommended dose but I could only find 500 mg dose) and my GAWD I had an awful reaction. I am sure it was the niacin as the bottle says it might cause some flushing, itching or burning sensation on the skin. They say take it before bed to lesson any reaction. So I did.
A half an hour after I took it I was started shivering. That turned into what I would compare to the kind of reaction one would have being naked in the arctic. I was out of control almost like seizing! Teeth chattering, body absolutely out of my control, rigid and shivering for an hour and a half. It was so bad that I had to wake Ben. I was not physically cold but I felt it on the inside. Poor guy was trying his best to warm me up while sweating buckets because I was not actually cold. My insides and my outside were at opposite ends of the spectrum and neither of us could do anything about it. I was under 2 duvets with Ben curled up to me and I felt as if I were freezing to death, literally. I am sure that if i could have made it to the bathroom to get into a hot shower, I would have likely burned myself as no amount of heat was warming me up. It was a very, very odd experience. Eventually it calmed down to a panic and eased up. Then the heat set in. I am now incredibly hot and cannot sleep because of it. I laid there with the window cracked (-5 out there), the fan on, all the covers off and still could not get cool enough to sleep.
This is insanity at its finest.
The niacin is in the garbage.
I am taking a multi-vitamin, 500 mg of DHA, 600 mg of EPA, 2000 IU of Vitamin D, 4 mg of Folic Acid. This is the mix I have been taking for about a year now.
Tonight I added a big vitamin B 100 complex (100 mg of all the B's) and 500 mg of Niacin. WELL, these were recommended in a book I just finished (400 mg of Niacin was the recommended dose but I could only find 500 mg dose) and my GAWD I had an awful reaction. I am sure it was the niacin as the bottle says it might cause some flushing, itching or burning sensation on the skin. They say take it before bed to lesson any reaction. So I did.
A half an hour after I took it I was started shivering. That turned into what I would compare to the kind of reaction one would have being naked in the arctic. I was out of control almost like seizing! Teeth chattering, body absolutely out of my control, rigid and shivering for an hour and a half. It was so bad that I had to wake Ben. I was not physically cold but I felt it on the inside. Poor guy was trying his best to warm me up while sweating buckets because I was not actually cold. My insides and my outside were at opposite ends of the spectrum and neither of us could do anything about it. I was under 2 duvets with Ben curled up to me and I felt as if I were freezing to death, literally. I am sure that if i could have made it to the bathroom to get into a hot shower, I would have likely burned myself as no amount of heat was warming me up. It was a very, very odd experience. Eventually it calmed down to a panic and eased up. Then the heat set in. I am now incredibly hot and cannot sleep because of it. I laid there with the window cracked (-5 out there), the fan on, all the covers off and still could not get cool enough to sleep.
This is insanity at its finest.
The niacin is in the garbage.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Rock On Gold Dust Woman
Just got in from seeing Fleetwood Mac - awesome! It took me to a strange place tonight, sitting there watching them. Their music has been with me for my entire life and there are so many great thoughts and memories tied to their songs. It reminded me of the bigger picture and made me realize that for the past few months I have been bogged down in the everyday stresses of life. Sometimes I forget that life is about so much more than that, that there is a greater purpose and that I am more than the sum of my parts. Music generally does that to me, good music - transports me to places that I seldom visit. It's been a great night. It reminded me to pull my head out of my arse and think bigger.
I need to remember that, to teach Olivia to live big, to dream big and to savour the emotional landscape of her future. I hope that she takes after me and is not afraid to go forth and carve a different path in life. I hope that she turns out like me, only better. I want to raise her to be colourful, eccentric and brave yet polished, elegant, poised and as smart as a whip. I want her to be well rounded, witty and bold. It will be a tough challenge but if anyone can do it, she can.
I made a decision tonight (with Ben's blessing of course) that if we have a girl next her middle name will be Gypsy, if its a boy, his middle name will be Danger. I wanted to call Olivia Gypsy but I got vetoed. This time its not up for discussion.
My mind is whirling, I am chewing on so many thoughts.....
I need to remember that, to teach Olivia to live big, to dream big and to savour the emotional landscape of her future. I hope that she takes after me and is not afraid to go forth and carve a different path in life. I hope that she turns out like me, only better. I want to raise her to be colourful, eccentric and brave yet polished, elegant, poised and as smart as a whip. I want her to be well rounded, witty and bold. It will be a tough challenge but if anyone can do it, she can.
I made a decision tonight (with Ben's blessing of course) that if we have a girl next her middle name will be Gypsy, if its a boy, his middle name will be Danger. I wanted to call Olivia Gypsy but I got vetoed. This time its not up for discussion.
My mind is whirling, I am chewing on so many thoughts.....
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Goodbye Grandma
Today we said a fond farewell to a wonderful woman, a beloved Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother. She had a lovely service and made her exit in exactly the way that she wanted. It's hard to believe she is gone.
It was a sad day but I am happy to believe she is now with Grandpa after 14 long years. I picture her finding him in heaven tending his garden, sneaking up from behind, tapping his shoulder and being met with the most wonderful smile and embrace ever known. I picture him twirling her around, sweeping her off her feet. I picture the tears and rejoice in their hearts, the squealing and laughter of their reunion. I picture them picking up where they left off, only more youthful, carrying on as they were for all the years they were together.
Down the road, I picture them waiting for us all, at a big backyard party in the sky with accordion music and a feast laid out on a great big picnic table in true Di Tecco style. Everyone gone before us will be there like a big family reunion. Of course there will be pasta with Grandmas famous sauce, all kinds of baked goodies and Grandpa will be dipping bread in the salad dressing. Grandma will be saying 'It's so nice to see you dear, hurry up, come and get something to eat' and Grandpa will be pinching my cheeks once again.
I'm in no rush, but as I lose more friends and family as the years go by, I'd like to think that I will see them all again someday and that we will all spend the hereafter at a great big eternal party reminiscent of all the good times we shared in this lifetime.
It was a sad day but I am happy to believe she is now with Grandpa after 14 long years. I picture her finding him in heaven tending his garden, sneaking up from behind, tapping his shoulder and being met with the most wonderful smile and embrace ever known. I picture him twirling her around, sweeping her off her feet. I picture the tears and rejoice in their hearts, the squealing and laughter of their reunion. I picture them picking up where they left off, only more youthful, carrying on as they were for all the years they were together.
Down the road, I picture them waiting for us all, at a big backyard party in the sky with accordion music and a feast laid out on a great big picnic table in true Di Tecco style. Everyone gone before us will be there like a big family reunion. Of course there will be pasta with Grandmas famous sauce, all kinds of baked goodies and Grandpa will be dipping bread in the salad dressing. Grandma will be saying 'It's so nice to see you dear, hurry up, come and get something to eat' and Grandpa will be pinching my cheeks once again.
I'm in no rush, but as I lose more friends and family as the years go by, I'd like to think that I will see them all again someday and that we will all spend the hereafter at a great big eternal party reminiscent of all the good times we shared in this lifetime.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Happy 6 Month Birthday Olivia!
This is how they get a chest x-ray on an infant down at Sick Kids - crazy eh? Poor dumpling hates this contraption - can't blame her though really.
We were down at Sick kids again today for Olivia's latest checkup. She had another sedated full echo cardiogram, and ECG and chest x-ray. We met with her nurse, her resident, her cardiologist, her dietitian and a med student as well as a new research team that is studying the genetics of heart disease in children. In a nutshell, the results were good.
Her liver is no longer enlarged, her heart is shrinking (was enlarged and is returning to normal) and the pulmonary edema (fluid in her lungs) is decreasing. Those are all positive signs that her body is having to struggle less which is great. Her gradient number however went down and its a bit puzzling. We were excited last time to hear that it had gone up to 150 but today it was only at 110. Remember the hose analogy that I mentioned last time - the smaller the hole/the higher the pressure/the bigger the noise/the bigger the gradient. They said today that while the gradient is down, all other signs in her body are still pointing toward self repair so they are content with her progress.
Also, she is still not showing any signs of muscular distress in her heart due to the improper flow or any valve damage which were the things that they were watching for that still might have required surgery. All this is good news. Its fairly certain now that surgery is off the cards.
She was reduced by one dose per day on her diuretic (Lasix) and we go back again in 6 weeks time to see about getting her off of it all together.
Ben and I both gave samples today of blood and saliva for the bio bank research. Over the coming years they are going to try and figure out why this happens to certain kids and try and figure out how to stop it from happening. They will be studying all kids/parents with cardiac issues that consent from Sick Kids, London Health Sciences, McMaster and Children's out in Ottawa and a few other major hospitals are due to come on board. It's a brand new study and we eagerly signed up to be Guinea pigs. They will take an extra vial of blood from Olivia the next time that she needs routine blood work for the study as they do not believe in poking the kids unnecessarily. Us adults are another story - they were quite eager with the needles ha ha.
She is growing nicely, 15 1/2 lbs or 7.15 kg now and is at or above the 50th percentile for all her measurements. She is also meeting all her developmental milestones nicely and is beginning to giggle on a regular basis which I am convinced is the best sound on earth.
Her liver is no longer enlarged, her heart is shrinking (was enlarged and is returning to normal) and the pulmonary edema (fluid in her lungs) is decreasing. Those are all positive signs that her body is having to struggle less which is great. Her gradient number however went down and its a bit puzzling. We were excited last time to hear that it had gone up to 150 but today it was only at 110. Remember the hose analogy that I mentioned last time - the smaller the hole/the higher the pressure/the bigger the noise/the bigger the gradient. They said today that while the gradient is down, all other signs in her body are still pointing toward self repair so they are content with her progress.
Also, she is still not showing any signs of muscular distress in her heart due to the improper flow or any valve damage which were the things that they were watching for that still might have required surgery. All this is good news. Its fairly certain now that surgery is off the cards.
She was reduced by one dose per day on her diuretic (Lasix) and we go back again in 6 weeks time to see about getting her off of it all together.
Ben and I both gave samples today of blood and saliva for the bio bank research. Over the coming years they are going to try and figure out why this happens to certain kids and try and figure out how to stop it from happening. They will be studying all kids/parents with cardiac issues that consent from Sick Kids, London Health Sciences, McMaster and Children's out in Ottawa and a few other major hospitals are due to come on board. It's a brand new study and we eagerly signed up to be Guinea pigs. They will take an extra vial of blood from Olivia the next time that she needs routine blood work for the study as they do not believe in poking the kids unnecessarily. Us adults are another story - they were quite eager with the needles ha ha.
She is growing nicely, 15 1/2 lbs or 7.15 kg now and is at or above the 50th percentile for all her measurements. She is also meeting all her developmental milestones nicely and is beginning to giggle on a regular basis which I am convinced is the best sound on earth.
Oh what a day...
I am full of tears, Grandma has passed. She went peacefully early this morning. We got the news en route to Sick Kids with Olivia this morning. I had to try and keep it together for her sake and the many hours of testing and consultations we had ahead. It's been one of the longest days I can remember and here I am still up, haunted by insomnia yet again.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
A Sober Day
Today I deviate from my usual nonsense to some serious thought. My heart is heavy, Grandma is failing and quickly. She has been in my thoughts daily for the last couple of weeks and constantly in the last couple of days. She is now on the threshold as we all await the inevitable. A month ago she was the spry 89 year old that was still going to the gym 3 times a week and burning up dance floors wherever possible. She was always the consummate Grandma, filling our bellies with goodies from her kitchen and making sure all around her were content. She never complained and I mean never, about anything, her positive outlook was a lesson for us all.
Those days are gone, today she is a frail shadow of the woman she once was, confined to her bed, barely conscious, every minute slipping farther and farther away. I find myself very conflicted this morning, sad at the prospect of getting that inevitable phone call yet happy that I have had the benefit of all these years with her. She has been a great influence on me in my lifetime, teaching me many things, from grace and humility to how to make the best butter tarts in history. I know that she is suffering, she is pain while she waits and that bothers me, a lot. She doesn't deserve that. I wish there was something I could do to help. I wish I could make her remaining time pleasurable and do what she has done for all of us, day in and day out, brighten our days and remind us of all the positive things in life. Right now, my biggest wish is that she doesn't suffer much longer.
Those days are gone, today she is a frail shadow of the woman she once was, confined to her bed, barely conscious, every minute slipping farther and farther away. I find myself very conflicted this morning, sad at the prospect of getting that inevitable phone call yet happy that I have had the benefit of all these years with her. She has been a great influence on me in my lifetime, teaching me many things, from grace and humility to how to make the best butter tarts in history. I know that she is suffering, she is pain while she waits and that bothers me, a lot. She doesn't deserve that. I wish there was something I could do to help. I wish I could make her remaining time pleasurable and do what she has done for all of us, day in and day out, brighten our days and remind us of all the positive things in life. Right now, my biggest wish is that she doesn't suffer much longer.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Baby Food 101
Most of you know that I do not cook. I can cook a couple of things but nothing earth shattering. If I cook for you, I either really don't like you (read trying to poison you) or I am really trying to impress you but that's not likely. If I were trying to impress, I would most likely demonstrate my excellent reservation making skills. I make great Hors D'oeuvres, from the box of course. Why can't we just eat those every night? What fun it would be to have a cocktail party every night.
OK back to reality....I had a temporary lapse of sanity and tried to go for the highly coveted 'Mother of the Year' award on Sunday. I made baby food. Yes, I will say it again since I know you just fell off your chair - *I* made baby food.
It started off well, with baking potatoes and sweet potatoes which I then pureed, portioned and froze. Now I know you are not impressed but for me that was a big deal. I am a baker, not a cook. Then I got crazy, I did carrots and broccoli. Well that's where it all went to crap. I didn't cook either of them first which led to a pulpy, gritty mess. Good thing I tasted a bit before I finished - the broccoli was awful. It had a two part scent, one part lawn and one part ass. Boy that was a big mistake! Next time I will cook the veg before I attempt to puree it. Now I just have to figure out what to do with it all - funky salsa? senior soup? I will jut slip it to Ben somehow - heck he will just be happy I 'cooked' and will grin and bear it ha ha.
OK back to reality....I had a temporary lapse of sanity and tried to go for the highly coveted 'Mother of the Year' award on Sunday. I made baby food. Yes, I will say it again since I know you just fell off your chair - *I* made baby food.
It started off well, with baking potatoes and sweet potatoes which I then pureed, portioned and froze. Now I know you are not impressed but for me that was a big deal. I am a baker, not a cook. Then I got crazy, I did carrots and broccoli. Well that's where it all went to crap. I didn't cook either of them first which led to a pulpy, gritty mess. Good thing I tasted a bit before I finished - the broccoli was awful. It had a two part scent, one part lawn and one part ass. Boy that was a big mistake! Next time I will cook the veg before I attempt to puree it. Now I just have to figure out what to do with it all - funky salsa? senior soup? I will jut slip it to Ben somehow - heck he will just be happy I 'cooked' and will grin and bear it ha ha.
The Poo Fiasco
I don't think any words can add to this picture - thats just what leaked out of the diaper - you should have seen the inside of the pants and the missing sock....holy crapinoli
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Yet Another Dress Rehersal For Her Broadway Show
4:09 am
I am awake
again....
have been since 2:54 am
natter, natter, natter
whine, whine, whine
squeal with glee
rinse and repeat
Our little Broadway Diva is at it again. Does she not know she has swimming lessons in about 4 hours now? Nooooo, she doesn't even remember what a pool is I bet or the fact that she has super cool Nemo swimming diapers to wear in it under her new daisy bathers. I think my eyes are bleeding. Wasn't I just writing to you all, what, 5 minutes ago?
Whilst staring at the stucco ceiling over the last hour, my mind has been to many places. One of which, it keeps circling back to. Ben and I have been talking about #2 and getting this family rolling. My latest thought toward that goal is going through labour and delivery again and what a mess it was the first time.
For those of you who do not know, my first go around was nearly fatal. It's a long story but basically the trouble can be directly linked to the anesthesiologist/anesthetic and one epically stupid nurse. My first epidural came out of my back, my second one caused a big dip in my blood pressure (80/50) but they finally got me stable after 3 hours. Some wise ass nurse decided that it was OK to let that epidural run out just as I was starting to push, thinking Ollie would be born quickly before the meds actually ran out. She was wrong, I paid the price and an hour and a half later she arrived, sans any meds. Then I ran into trouble and they had to order an emergency epidural to refreeze me so they could go back in and fetch my placenta. Well that one caused my blood pressure to dip to 50/27, that was almost the end of me. Poor Ben got a big scare and poor Olivia spent her first precious hours in the world, alone and ignored with a heart condition that went undiagnosed, while everyone scrambled to keep me here. It was not exactly the delivery you see in the movies.
Now back to the original thought - #2. I got to thinking that if we do go ahead, things are going to be very different this time. I am so much wiser now, so much more informed, empowered and lets just say that when I gave birth to Olivia, I also gave birth to a shiny new set of balls, the size of Texas. Oh yes, things will be very different if and when we venture down this road again.
So now I am trying to figure out *how* things will be different. My thought of the night is in regards to the anesthetic cocktail used on me last time and the idiot anesthesiologist who inserted it into me. In fairness, I cannot directly blame him until I find out what information was given to him. I will not blame him for epidural #1 as I am sure there is a certain percentage of sites that become dislodged and this must happen from time to time. What I don't understand is what happened for the second epidural - was the drop in blood pressure a result of improper placement in my spinal cord or was it that he used a different blend. What I was told by my doctor is that every anesthesiologist has a signature recipe they like to use. There are several drugs available to them and they select the blend based on several factors like the patients stature, medical history, the procedure being done and what they feel most comfortable using. Now epidural #3 is the $64,000 question (as my mother would say). It was ordered in an emergency situation. Was the anesthesiologist told about how I reacted to the second one or was he and decided to proceed anyway? Did he use the same cocktail or did I react badly to 2 separate ones?
Now I know most people would take these concerns to their doctor, get some reassurance that it was a fluke and be done with it. I cannot, I simply cannot. I am thinking of bypassing my doctor all together and going straight to the hospital to get a copy of my file and starting there. It's my file so I think they have to let me see it. I am pretty sure with this new privacy policy, if I request a copy, they have to give me one. I know it will be filled with medical terms and jargon but I can translate it bit by bit through internet resources I am sure. Even if I can't, I can still make an appointment with my doc, armed with it, looking for an exact explanation. Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't I say.
If it was indeed the anesthesiologist's fault, I want to make sure that I have a meeting with him before any epidurals in future. Make sure that he fully understands what hap penned and takes a good look at my file so that I am treated as a person and not a number. I want him to look me in the eye and assure me that he wont kill me. He will know that I am a well informed patient and that I am not to be pacified. If its a different anesthesiologist, I want a thorough review of my file before any cocktail mixing so that they understand my body's limitations. If it was the cocktail then I want to ensure that it not be inadvertently used on me again.
Now some of you may be wondering why I sound so bitter and jaded when I spend most of my life trying to find the bright and funny side of things. Well, I guess the last 6 months has changed my entire view on the medical profession. While there are some gems out there, sadly there are also some lumps of coal. I think that facing my mortality and the mortality of my daughter, suddenly there is a lot more at stake in terms of finding good medical care and advice. By being the best advocate I could for Olivia's health, I learned that I simply must do the same for myself. We only have one body and we need to make sure that those charged with its medical care are as well educated, competent and compassionate as possible.
These are the marbles that are rattling around in my brain in these wee hours - just thought I would share....
I am awake
again....
have been since 2:54 am
natter, natter, natter
whine, whine, whine
squeal with glee
rinse and repeat
Our little Broadway Diva is at it again. Does she not know she has swimming lessons in about 4 hours now? Nooooo, she doesn't even remember what a pool is I bet or the fact that she has super cool Nemo swimming diapers to wear in it under her new daisy bathers. I think my eyes are bleeding. Wasn't I just writing to you all, what, 5 minutes ago?
Whilst staring at the stucco ceiling over the last hour, my mind has been to many places. One of which, it keeps circling back to. Ben and I have been talking about #2 and getting this family rolling. My latest thought toward that goal is going through labour and delivery again and what a mess it was the first time.
For those of you who do not know, my first go around was nearly fatal. It's a long story but basically the trouble can be directly linked to the anesthesiologist/anesthetic and one epically stupid nurse. My first epidural came out of my back, my second one caused a big dip in my blood pressure (80/50) but they finally got me stable after 3 hours. Some wise ass nurse decided that it was OK to let that epidural run out just as I was starting to push, thinking Ollie would be born quickly before the meds actually ran out. She was wrong, I paid the price and an hour and a half later she arrived, sans any meds. Then I ran into trouble and they had to order an emergency epidural to refreeze me so they could go back in and fetch my placenta. Well that one caused my blood pressure to dip to 50/27, that was almost the end of me. Poor Ben got a big scare and poor Olivia spent her first precious hours in the world, alone and ignored with a heart condition that went undiagnosed, while everyone scrambled to keep me here. It was not exactly the delivery you see in the movies.
Now back to the original thought - #2. I got to thinking that if we do go ahead, things are going to be very different this time. I am so much wiser now, so much more informed, empowered and lets just say that when I gave birth to Olivia, I also gave birth to a shiny new set of balls, the size of Texas. Oh yes, things will be very different if and when we venture down this road again.
So now I am trying to figure out *how* things will be different. My thought of the night is in regards to the anesthetic cocktail used on me last time and the idiot anesthesiologist who inserted it into me. In fairness, I cannot directly blame him until I find out what information was given to him. I will not blame him for epidural #1 as I am sure there is a certain percentage of sites that become dislodged and this must happen from time to time. What I don't understand is what happened for the second epidural - was the drop in blood pressure a result of improper placement in my spinal cord or was it that he used a different blend. What I was told by my doctor is that every anesthesiologist has a signature recipe they like to use. There are several drugs available to them and they select the blend based on several factors like the patients stature, medical history, the procedure being done and what they feel most comfortable using. Now epidural #3 is the $64,000 question (as my mother would say). It was ordered in an emergency situation. Was the anesthesiologist told about how I reacted to the second one or was he and decided to proceed anyway? Did he use the same cocktail or did I react badly to 2 separate ones?
Now I know most people would take these concerns to their doctor, get some reassurance that it was a fluke and be done with it. I cannot, I simply cannot. I am thinking of bypassing my doctor all together and going straight to the hospital to get a copy of my file and starting there. It's my file so I think they have to let me see it. I am pretty sure with this new privacy policy, if I request a copy, they have to give me one. I know it will be filled with medical terms and jargon but I can translate it bit by bit through internet resources I am sure. Even if I can't, I can still make an appointment with my doc, armed with it, looking for an exact explanation. Better the devil you know, than the devil you don't I say.
If it was indeed the anesthesiologist's fault, I want to make sure that I have a meeting with him before any epidurals in future. Make sure that he fully understands what hap penned and takes a good look at my file so that I am treated as a person and not a number. I want him to look me in the eye and assure me that he wont kill me. He will know that I am a well informed patient and that I am not to be pacified. If its a different anesthesiologist, I want a thorough review of my file before any cocktail mixing so that they understand my body's limitations. If it was the cocktail then I want to ensure that it not be inadvertently used on me again.
Now some of you may be wondering why I sound so bitter and jaded when I spend most of my life trying to find the bright and funny side of things. Well, I guess the last 6 months has changed my entire view on the medical profession. While there are some gems out there, sadly there are also some lumps of coal. I think that facing my mortality and the mortality of my daughter, suddenly there is a lot more at stake in terms of finding good medical care and advice. By being the best advocate I could for Olivia's health, I learned that I simply must do the same for myself. We only have one body and we need to make sure that those charged with its medical care are as well educated, competent and compassionate as possible.
These are the marbles that are rattling around in my brain in these wee hours - just thought I would share....
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Worst Movie In A Long, Long, Long Time
It's Friday night and we are home watching quite possibly *the* worst movie I have ever seen. The saddest part is that it has me in it's grip and like a train wreck, I just can't seem to look away. Shite. The only thing I am thankful for is that I am not responsible for choosing it. It's called The Last Winter, just in case you happen to want to waste 2 hours of your life that you will never get back.
On a very happy note, we have found a winner in the Olivia-Eating-Solid-Food-Winter-Games....wait for it.....wax beans ladies and gentlemen, wax beans. They were a hit! Today I made the big mistake of smelling a jar of bananas. I am not like those super moms out there that has to taste *everything* I give her. I trust that Gerber has been making this crap for millennium and that's OK with me. But WOW that stuff smells awful - no wonder its such a tough sell! I got a book on homemade purees and am going to give that a whirl on Sunday. I plan on spending the day cooking, pureeing and freezing various non foul smelling fruits and veggies. Hopefully we will see some more enthusiasm out of our darling next week with a new menu.
On a serious note, we got a letter from Sick Kids today asking for Olivia to participate in a research study called 'Genetics of Heart Disease in Children'. It will involve her being monitored over the coming years by researchers and having some blood collected and put into a biobank for further testing and analysis. They are going to attempt to figure out why some kids are born with this and we figure that its the least we can do in order to find a cause and cure for future kids.
Well its off to bed now as we have swimming lessons at 8:30 tomorrow morning and that seems like 10 minutes from now. G'night all....
On a very happy note, we have found a winner in the Olivia-Eating-Solid-Food-Winter-Games....wait for it.....wax beans ladies and gentlemen, wax beans. They were a hit! Today I made the big mistake of smelling a jar of bananas. I am not like those super moms out there that has to taste *everything* I give her. I trust that Gerber has been making this crap for millennium and that's OK with me. But WOW that stuff smells awful - no wonder its such a tough sell! I got a book on homemade purees and am going to give that a whirl on Sunday. I plan on spending the day cooking, pureeing and freezing various non foul smelling fruits and veggies. Hopefully we will see some more enthusiasm out of our darling next week with a new menu.
On a serious note, we got a letter from Sick Kids today asking for Olivia to participate in a research study called 'Genetics of Heart Disease in Children'. It will involve her being monitored over the coming years by researchers and having some blood collected and put into a biobank for further testing and analysis. They are going to attempt to figure out why some kids are born with this and we figure that its the least we can do in order to find a cause and cure for future kids.
Well its off to bed now as we have swimming lessons at 8:30 tomorrow morning and that seems like 10 minutes from now. G'night all....
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Battle of wills
It's 4:58 am, I am up because someone (I wont name names to protect the innocent) decided that its 'practice our talking time' and has been nattering and squealing away for an hour now. I have been in 47 times now to feed, burp, change, insert soother, change position, turn on mobile, redecorate crib, repaint nursery, build a new closet organizer and save the world - you name it I have tried it and now here we sit, her upstairs increasing in volume as I am not near and me downstairs typing away to you folks. Its a full on battle of the wills as I pray to the sleep gods and she practices for her next Broadway musical. Holy crapinoli.
On a better note, Ben finally got his new Volvo today. Its a shiny new S40, stick shift with all the bells and whistles - exactly the car he wanted and he is over the moon. I must admit it looks very sharp and even though I hate that its standard, it might and I stress might, inspire me to one day learn to operate it. Lets not hold our breaths though as it is 5 am and I don't entirely have my wits about me. Its been a strange night, in fact we went for dinner after picking it up and he didn't even wear his parka! As those who know him know, if there is even a slight breeze the thought of going out without his -40 degree, suitable to climb Everest, bright orange, can conquer the arctic, survival jacket which I not so lovingly refer to as 'the parka' would be just too much to bear. Well I guess his new car gave fuel to his manhood and he decided he was suddenly able to venture forth for an evening without his security blanket, oops I mean 'parka'. I was so upset that I forgot the camera - it was one for the history books!
Well we have managed 3 days of peas now with Olivia (aka choochie) and the progress is staggering. She is now grasping the open mouth, spoon gets inserted, move tongue about and attempt to swallow mechanics. Now it is time to train mummy - feed before bath time and always use waterproof bibs with a big pocket in the front. More of the peas covered her face, hair, squirrelly little fingers and pudgy leg rolls than actually went into her mouth - what a horrible green slimy mess!!! The best part has been her figuring out that if she slams her open hand down onto the dribbles on her tray then everyone and everything within 3 feet gets to wear the peas - hooray for mess on a grand scale. Tomorrow we try bananas - wish me luck folks!
I have outlasted her!!! There is silence from the baby monitor....if I hurry there is a whole 16 minutes left of good quality sleep before the alarm goes off - gnight all
On a better note, Ben finally got his new Volvo today. Its a shiny new S40, stick shift with all the bells and whistles - exactly the car he wanted and he is over the moon. I must admit it looks very sharp and even though I hate that its standard, it might and I stress might, inspire me to one day learn to operate it. Lets not hold our breaths though as it is 5 am and I don't entirely have my wits about me. Its been a strange night, in fact we went for dinner after picking it up and he didn't even wear his parka! As those who know him know, if there is even a slight breeze the thought of going out without his -40 degree, suitable to climb Everest, bright orange, can conquer the arctic, survival jacket which I not so lovingly refer to as 'the parka' would be just too much to bear. Well I guess his new car gave fuel to his manhood and he decided he was suddenly able to venture forth for an evening without his security blanket, oops I mean 'parka'. I was so upset that I forgot the camera - it was one for the history books!
Well we have managed 3 days of peas now with Olivia (aka choochie) and the progress is staggering. She is now grasping the open mouth, spoon gets inserted, move tongue about and attempt to swallow mechanics. Now it is time to train mummy - feed before bath time and always use waterproof bibs with a big pocket in the front. More of the peas covered her face, hair, squirrelly little fingers and pudgy leg rolls than actually went into her mouth - what a horrible green slimy mess!!! The best part has been her figuring out that if she slams her open hand down onto the dribbles on her tray then everyone and everything within 3 feet gets to wear the peas - hooray for mess on a grand scale. Tomorrow we try bananas - wish me luck folks!
I have outlasted her!!! There is silence from the baby monitor....if I hurry there is a whole 16 minutes left of good quality sleep before the alarm goes off - gnight all
Monday, February 23, 2009
Momentary lapse of sanity
Well holy smacks its been weeks since I have posted an update here. I am truly sorry my dear fans. Lots has happened since the end of January...where to start......lets work backward shall we?
Peas on Earth AND on my plate.....
Today we started solids with Olivia! I had a great plan set out to start with rice cereal, then try one new food every 3 days until she had tried all the fruits and veggies available. She has been eating rice in her bottles on and off since she was 3 months old (now 5 1/2 months) so we knew she was tolerant of that already. I decided to start her on pears first and that went incredibly bad. I am convinced that she will never enjoy pears as long as she lives! The gagging and the faces of disgust were too much for me, poor thing hated them and I could barely contain myself with laughter. Needless to say I decided to try something else before she reported me to child services. I figured that maybe shes a savoury gal and takes after her Dad (unlike me and my sweet tooth) so I decided to give peas a whirl and low and behold they went over much better than the pears - who woulda thunk it? It was still pretty funny to watch her go and I even got it on video. No adverse reactions from anything so I would consider day 1 a marginal success!
Cough, cough, hack, hack.....
We have all had a cold now for the past week or so which has been awful. Its Olivia's first and I have never seen so much snot in all my life! We now have 3 nasal sucker thing-a-ma-bobs and they are still never around when you need them - phenomenal. I find it quite funny that she absolutely HATES anyone wiping, suctioning or touching her nose. She will go to any extreme to fight you and she yells and squeaks like mad - I'm convinced they are some sort of baby curse words. And boy, she snored before but now she rivals her Daddy!
More courses for me...
Last week I began another baking course at McCalls here in Mississauga. I took all the Wilton cake decorating courses last summer and have decided to carry on now that life has calmed down a bit, well that's not really accurate, its a little less on fire now, shall we say. I'm doing colour flow designs for cakes with an old friend (haven't seen in 15 years) Stephanie from high school. It was great to catch up with her and there were enough nut jobs in the class to keep us entertained for the whole evening. We go for the next one tomorrow night.
Jolly Ole England......
Once getting the OK to travel with Olivia from Sick Kids we booked a trip to England right away to introduce her to the the other half of her family. We got back last weekend after a 10 day getaway which was busy and fun. She was a great flyer, well except for the part where she threw up on the way back but that was not from the flight but rather from her putting her fingers too far into her own mouth - silly monkey. She mostly slept, cooed and drooled and smiled. The family all loved her and spoiled her rotten. She decided not to adjust to the time difference at all and became a night owl but at least that meant some sleep-ins for us! Due to all the excitement, she gained no weight while we were away which was not great so we have had our hands full trying to get her eating properly again this week.
Vroooooom, Vroooooooooooom.....
After an endless debate over vehicles, I finally caved and gave Ben my blessing on getting a new Volvo. We have never seen eye to eye on cars since the day we met as I am a convertible/SUV kinda gal and he is a sedan kinda guy - I only drive automatic and he LOVES standard. Come car shopping with us folks - it will be fun, I swear! His lease was up on his old Seabring and we had to make a decision on a new one. So being the great wife that I am, I finally relented and gave him my blessing, in exchange for the promise of a fancy little convertible for my 40th of course. So off we went to the dealership to buy him his dream car, a car I will never drive. We gave our other one back and well its now 5-6 weeks later and we are still waiting for the Volvo to arrive and sharing my car - what a pain in the A$$ but they promise us that it will be in this week. It had to come from Sweden doncha know.
Marathon mayhem......
Well my ever so ambitious goal of a marathon in May is rapidly slipping through my fingers. With the limited use of the car I have not been able to get to the gym and honestly all this lag time has really poured water on my fire. I now find myself compromising to a half marathon or a 5-10k walk/run - whatever I can get to in the short amount of time I have left to train. Until we get our second car back I cannot really even begin to make plans. I will just have to do the best I can with what I have left and do it as well as possible.
Well its getting late and my brain is calling last call so I had better wrap this up. I will endeavour to fill in the gaps of the last month and keep you all up to date over the coming days.
Peas on Earth AND on my plate.....
Today we started solids with Olivia! I had a great plan set out to start with rice cereal, then try one new food every 3 days until she had tried all the fruits and veggies available. She has been eating rice in her bottles on and off since she was 3 months old (now 5 1/2 months) so we knew she was tolerant of that already. I decided to start her on pears first and that went incredibly bad. I am convinced that she will never enjoy pears as long as she lives! The gagging and the faces of disgust were too much for me, poor thing hated them and I could barely contain myself with laughter. Needless to say I decided to try something else before she reported me to child services. I figured that maybe shes a savoury gal and takes after her Dad (unlike me and my sweet tooth) so I decided to give peas a whirl and low and behold they went over much better than the pears - who woulda thunk it? It was still pretty funny to watch her go and I even got it on video. No adverse reactions from anything so I would consider day 1 a marginal success!
Cough, cough, hack, hack.....
We have all had a cold now for the past week or so which has been awful. Its Olivia's first and I have never seen so much snot in all my life! We now have 3 nasal sucker thing-a-ma-bobs and they are still never around when you need them - phenomenal. I find it quite funny that she absolutely HATES anyone wiping, suctioning or touching her nose. She will go to any extreme to fight you and she yells and squeaks like mad - I'm convinced they are some sort of baby curse words. And boy, she snored before but now she rivals her Daddy!
More courses for me...
Last week I began another baking course at McCalls here in Mississauga. I took all the Wilton cake decorating courses last summer and have decided to carry on now that life has calmed down a bit, well that's not really accurate, its a little less on fire now, shall we say. I'm doing colour flow designs for cakes with an old friend (haven't seen in 15 years) Stephanie from high school. It was great to catch up with her and there were enough nut jobs in the class to keep us entertained for the whole evening. We go for the next one tomorrow night.
Jolly Ole England......
Once getting the OK to travel with Olivia from Sick Kids we booked a trip to England right away to introduce her to the the other half of her family. We got back last weekend after a 10 day getaway which was busy and fun. She was a great flyer, well except for the part where she threw up on the way back but that was not from the flight but rather from her putting her fingers too far into her own mouth - silly monkey. She mostly slept, cooed and drooled and smiled. The family all loved her and spoiled her rotten. She decided not to adjust to the time difference at all and became a night owl but at least that meant some sleep-ins for us! Due to all the excitement, she gained no weight while we were away which was not great so we have had our hands full trying to get her eating properly again this week.
Vroooooom, Vroooooooooooom.....
After an endless debate over vehicles, I finally caved and gave Ben my blessing on getting a new Volvo. We have never seen eye to eye on cars since the day we met as I am a convertible/SUV kinda gal and he is a sedan kinda guy - I only drive automatic and he LOVES standard. Come car shopping with us folks - it will be fun, I swear! His lease was up on his old Seabring and we had to make a decision on a new one. So being the great wife that I am, I finally relented and gave him my blessing, in exchange for the promise of a fancy little convertible for my 40th of course. So off we went to the dealership to buy him his dream car, a car I will never drive. We gave our other one back and well its now 5-6 weeks later and we are still waiting for the Volvo to arrive and sharing my car - what a pain in the A$$ but they promise us that it will be in this week. It had to come from Sweden doncha know.
Marathon mayhem......
Well my ever so ambitious goal of a marathon in May is rapidly slipping through my fingers. With the limited use of the car I have not been able to get to the gym and honestly all this lag time has really poured water on my fire. I now find myself compromising to a half marathon or a 5-10k walk/run - whatever I can get to in the short amount of time I have left to train. Until we get our second car back I cannot really even begin to make plans. I will just have to do the best I can with what I have left and do it as well as possible.
Well its getting late and my brain is calling last call so I had better wrap this up. I will endeavour to fill in the gaps of the last month and keep you all up to date over the coming days.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Update on Olivia
Hellooooooo Everyone,
Today has been a tearful one BUT tears of joy! We met with her Cardiac team at Sick Kids this morning after having her latest round of tests yesterday.
Her ASD is gone, yes thats right, gone!
Her body has continued to manufacture the extra cells in order to work on closing her VSD and her gradient is now at 150. This is great, its at the higher end of the scale and that means that the blood is having a tougher time going through the hole. Typically gradients only get to 150-200 before they disappear. It was at 97 at the last check December 10th. Its sort of like a garden hose, the bigger the hole the quieter it is as the water can easily pass through it, the smaller the hole, the louder it gets as it becomes more and more pressurized until it dissappears all together. Well her hole is pretty loud now. Also, when you lay your hand on her chest you can now feel a heartbeat in with the wooshing whereas before all you could hear/feel was a washing machine.
If she were to stop her custom repair job right now, she has come far enough that she would live a normal active life without any trouble. Its 99.9% certain that she will NOT need surgery now. There are only a couple of small possibilities from complications of her 'MacGuyvering' a patch that would require surgery but as of the scan yesterday she is showing absolutely no signs of them. She has managed to patch the hole enough that she is no longer putting extra stress on her lungs or liver and there would be no long term harm of having the blood pass through this hole at the rate that it is now going. Any further repair is a bonus. Part of her heart and her liver are still enlarged but those will return to normal over time as they get used to not having to process all the extra blood.
We go back to Sick kids again in 2 months time to have another look and they are saying that this is a precautionary visit. She is well on the right path now and they just want to ensure she stays on it.
They have also decided to lower the calorie content of her formula so she is no longer eating the thick sludge. Her consumption volume has increased from about 12 oz/day in early December to about 18 oz/day now. Shes moving from 30 calories/oz to 27 which means she should eat more and that is what we want. A normal baby eats 20 cal/oz and about 28 oz at her age so we are starting on the path back to normal babyhood.
They are also very pleased with her lack of vomiting and spitting up. Her reflux seems to be improving. As her body grows, she is getting stronger inside and the muscles in her esophagus are maturing, making the formula stay down on its own.
In a months time we will begin decreasing her heart medication by one dose per day and they are saying that she could be off it entirely by the summer if all goes well. On Friday we meet with her pediatrician to begin weaning her off the other meds she is on for the reflux.
She has also developed baby eczema so we will have to get that under control too with the pediatrician on Friday. The docs today said that with a cool mist vaporizer in her room, some special cream and fewer baths, we could have that under control in no time. Its caused by the environment and the dryness of winter and its not permanent - no biggie.
This check-up went better than we could have hoped for. I can't even begin to tell you how relieved and how overjoyed we are having been down this emotional road since she was a week old. She is almost 4 1/2 months now and weighs 13 lbs 10 oz or 6.2 KG. She was born at the 50th percentile meaning that she was right on average for height and weight among all babies and as of this week she is right back on the 50th. For a long time she had slipped below that for weight which was expected but now she is back. No matter where a baby is born on that scale, its important to keep them at that rate to make sure they are on target. She has done so remarkably well that its amazing. They kept going on about how perfect she looks and how shes done so well with her weight gain! Hopefully in a few months she will be an absolutely normal kiddo without meds or special food or anything - fingers crossed.
Thank you all so very much for all your prayers and well wishes - they worked. We appreciate all the love and support you have given us through this difficult time, we couldn't have done it without you. I look forward to penning future updates on a lighter note, free of cardiac drama and full of great adventures. Olivia thanks you all (she told me to tell you) for being the great family and friends that you are. She also told me to tell you that she wants to start making the rounds for visits, now that she is back on top of her game. Let us know when works for you and we will make a plan.
Cheers from a VERY relieved Ben and Aimee and a sweet smiling Olivia xo
Today has been a tearful one BUT tears of joy! We met with her Cardiac team at Sick Kids this morning after having her latest round of tests yesterday.
Her ASD is gone, yes thats right, gone!
Her body has continued to manufacture the extra cells in order to work on closing her VSD and her gradient is now at 150. This is great, its at the higher end of the scale and that means that the blood is having a tougher time going through the hole. Typically gradients only get to 150-200 before they disappear. It was at 97 at the last check December 10th. Its sort of like a garden hose, the bigger the hole the quieter it is as the water can easily pass through it, the smaller the hole, the louder it gets as it becomes more and more pressurized until it dissappears all together. Well her hole is pretty loud now. Also, when you lay your hand on her chest you can now feel a heartbeat in with the wooshing whereas before all you could hear/feel was a washing machine.
If she were to stop her custom repair job right now, she has come far enough that she would live a normal active life without any trouble. Its 99.9% certain that she will NOT need surgery now. There are only a couple of small possibilities from complications of her 'MacGuyvering' a patch that would require surgery but as of the scan yesterday she is showing absolutely no signs of them. She has managed to patch the hole enough that she is no longer putting extra stress on her lungs or liver and there would be no long term harm of having the blood pass through this hole at the rate that it is now going. Any further repair is a bonus. Part of her heart and her liver are still enlarged but those will return to normal over time as they get used to not having to process all the extra blood.
We go back to Sick kids again in 2 months time to have another look and they are saying that this is a precautionary visit. She is well on the right path now and they just want to ensure she stays on it.
They have also decided to lower the calorie content of her formula so she is no longer eating the thick sludge. Her consumption volume has increased from about 12 oz/day in early December to about 18 oz/day now. Shes moving from 30 calories/oz to 27 which means she should eat more and that is what we want. A normal baby eats 20 cal/oz and about 28 oz at her age so we are starting on the path back to normal babyhood.
They are also very pleased with her lack of vomiting and spitting up. Her reflux seems to be improving. As her body grows, she is getting stronger inside and the muscles in her esophagus are maturing, making the formula stay down on its own.
In a months time we will begin decreasing her heart medication by one dose per day and they are saying that she could be off it entirely by the summer if all goes well. On Friday we meet with her pediatrician to begin weaning her off the other meds she is on for the reflux.
She has also developed baby eczema so we will have to get that under control too with the pediatrician on Friday. The docs today said that with a cool mist vaporizer in her room, some special cream and fewer baths, we could have that under control in no time. Its caused by the environment and the dryness of winter and its not permanent - no biggie.
This check-up went better than we could have hoped for. I can't even begin to tell you how relieved and how overjoyed we are having been down this emotional road since she was a week old. She is almost 4 1/2 months now and weighs 13 lbs 10 oz or 6.2 KG. She was born at the 50th percentile meaning that she was right on average for height and weight among all babies and as of this week she is right back on the 50th. For a long time she had slipped below that for weight which was expected but now she is back. No matter where a baby is born on that scale, its important to keep them at that rate to make sure they are on target. She has done so remarkably well that its amazing. They kept going on about how perfect she looks and how shes done so well with her weight gain! Hopefully in a few months she will be an absolutely normal kiddo without meds or special food or anything - fingers crossed.
Thank you all so very much for all your prayers and well wishes - they worked. We appreciate all the love and support you have given us through this difficult time, we couldn't have done it without you. I look forward to penning future updates on a lighter note, free of cardiac drama and full of great adventures. Olivia thanks you all (she told me to tell you) for being the great family and friends that you are. She also told me to tell you that she wants to start making the rounds for visits, now that she is back on top of her game. Let us know when works for you and we will make a plan.
Cheers from a VERY relieved Ben and Aimee and a sweet smiling Olivia xo
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
A Bump In The Road
Well this week is off to a rather crappy start - I found myself craving everything bad - sugary, chocolaty and high fat badness. I caved. I now feel awful. I had to give up my Monday and Tuesday personal training sessions to Ben due to Olivia's health issues.
Monday she developed a strange rash and swollen eyes. At the hospital they told me she was had a viral exanthem - a rash caused by a viral infection. It's quite common with kids and it will go away on its own with the help of some hydro cortisone cream in the rally bad spots. Until its gone though, she has to stay home and away from anyone/anything that might be ill or contagious as her immune system is in overdrive.
On Tuesday she was due for her RSV shot (a monthly dose of live antibodies to protect her against RSV which is a severe respiratory infection) but they could not give it to her because of her rash. We will have to wait until next Tuesday as the RSV clinic only happens once per week at the hospital. Today she got her 4 month vaccinations and she handled it well. The rash keeps changing appearance every few hours but I think she is past the worst of it now as its starting to look better. She has had a rough day but she is asleep now and all is calm again in the world.
I have another training session booked for tomorrow so I will be able to get back on track. After cheating on my diet today I started to do some research on the net about sugar addiction and I was shocked to learn that its not uncommon and its a harder habit to kick than smoking or drinking - who knew!!! I feel better now though, understanding more about it and am going to start treating it more like an addiction - perhaps it will help me beat it.
My plan is to do an intestinal cleanse over the weekend and at the same time eliminate all forms of sugar and artificial sweeteners from my diet for a week and see how I feel. I have been drinking all kinds of diet pop not realizing its been making things worse! From what I understand after 7 days the cravings calm down and become more manageable. After the 7 days you have to just decide not to eat it anymore. Its kind of like quitting smoking (I managed to beat that 15 year addiction about 2 1/2 years ago) where you have to get through the withdrawal and then make a conscious decision to not have it again, not even a bit in order to stay on the wagon. When I quit smoking I never even allowed myself the thought of ever having one again - under any circumstances, knowing full well that one would lead to two and carry on.
I am now trying to find a diet plan or program to follow to help with eliminating sugar and getting my diet sorted out for the long haul. If anyone has any good suggestions, please let me know.
Monday she developed a strange rash and swollen eyes. At the hospital they told me she was had a viral exanthem - a rash caused by a viral infection. It's quite common with kids and it will go away on its own with the help of some hydro cortisone cream in the rally bad spots. Until its gone though, she has to stay home and away from anyone/anything that might be ill or contagious as her immune system is in overdrive.
On Tuesday she was due for her RSV shot (a monthly dose of live antibodies to protect her against RSV which is a severe respiratory infection) but they could not give it to her because of her rash. We will have to wait until next Tuesday as the RSV clinic only happens once per week at the hospital. Today she got her 4 month vaccinations and she handled it well. The rash keeps changing appearance every few hours but I think she is past the worst of it now as its starting to look better. She has had a rough day but she is asleep now and all is calm again in the world.
I have another training session booked for tomorrow so I will be able to get back on track. After cheating on my diet today I started to do some research on the net about sugar addiction and I was shocked to learn that its not uncommon and its a harder habit to kick than smoking or drinking - who knew!!! I feel better now though, understanding more about it and am going to start treating it more like an addiction - perhaps it will help me beat it.
My plan is to do an intestinal cleanse over the weekend and at the same time eliminate all forms of sugar and artificial sweeteners from my diet for a week and see how I feel. I have been drinking all kinds of diet pop not realizing its been making things worse! From what I understand after 7 days the cravings calm down and become more manageable. After the 7 days you have to just decide not to eat it anymore. Its kind of like quitting smoking (I managed to beat that 15 year addiction about 2 1/2 years ago) where you have to get through the withdrawal and then make a conscious decision to not have it again, not even a bit in order to stay on the wagon. When I quit smoking I never even allowed myself the thought of ever having one again - under any circumstances, knowing full well that one would lead to two and carry on.
I am now trying to find a diet plan or program to follow to help with eliminating sugar and getting my diet sorted out for the long haul. If anyone has any good suggestions, please let me know.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
week 1 done
Week 1 is officially over! Woohoo!
So I did pretty well this week and survived a whole 7 days without ANY chocolate - a true challenge. I also managed to shed 3 lbs and got to the gym 3 times. My trainer managed to talk me out of going every day on week one and to ease into it to avoid injury and I am thankful for that. I was sore all week but in a good way. This week I plan to go 4 times, 3 sessions with my trainer and one session to start on cardio endurance in preparation for the big 'M'.
Olivia is 4 months old today and is doing great. She is above the 50th percentile for her height and is right on it for her weight - WELL DONE wee one!
We go to Sick Kids week after next to get another echo on her heart done and hopefully find that she has continued to grow more of these new cells around her VSD. I have a good feeling.
While we are there we are hoping to get the OK to fly so that we can start making preparations to get to the UK to introduce her to the other half of her family. We are very excited about this trip and are eager to book the flights!
Today we are starting baby sign language as well...we know that she wont be able to sign back for another 2-5 months but the earlier we start, the earlier she will start too. We are beginning with the basics....
-milk
-more
-all done/finished
-mommy
-daddy
-please
-thank you
-bath
-book
-sleep/tired
-eat
Well thats it for now as I need to get out and shovel the driveway....
Cheers, Aim
So I did pretty well this week and survived a whole 7 days without ANY chocolate - a true challenge. I also managed to shed 3 lbs and got to the gym 3 times. My trainer managed to talk me out of going every day on week one and to ease into it to avoid injury and I am thankful for that. I was sore all week but in a good way. This week I plan to go 4 times, 3 sessions with my trainer and one session to start on cardio endurance in preparation for the big 'M'.
Olivia is 4 months old today and is doing great. She is above the 50th percentile for her height and is right on it for her weight - WELL DONE wee one!
We go to Sick Kids week after next to get another echo on her heart done and hopefully find that she has continued to grow more of these new cells around her VSD. I have a good feeling.
While we are there we are hoping to get the OK to fly so that we can start making preparations to get to the UK to introduce her to the other half of her family. We are very excited about this trip and are eager to book the flights!
Today we are starting baby sign language as well...we know that she wont be able to sign back for another 2-5 months but the earlier we start, the earlier she will start too. We are beginning with the basics....
-milk
-more
-all done/finished
-mommy
-daddy
-please
-thank you
-bath
-book
-sleep/tired
-eat
Well thats it for now as I need to get out and shovel the driveway....
Cheers, Aim
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Aching today...
Well today I met my trainer, Mike. He seems like a nice enough guy and I think its going to work out. Olivia went to day care for the first time in her life (at the gym) and did not really know what to make of it. I managed to get an hour of weight training and 20 mins on the treadmill in before she was crying and I went to rescue her. I'm content with both of our progress for the first real training day. Ben is at the gym at the moment, working hard to prepare for this Marathon too. YES that's right - he is going to run it with me. He doesn't think I am serious about this goal so he has promised that if I run it, he will run it too in a ballet tutu!!!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Day 2
Well this is a rather late post and will probably show as Sunday but in fact in my world its still Saturday night, its just really really late and I'm still up - the joys of new motherhood and a baby that thinks its fun to kep things lively.
This morning I was up with Olivia at 6:30 after getting up 7 times in the previous 4 hours, I finally gave in and started the day, under duress.
I got to thinking that if I could sleep in sprints maybe this running thing won't be all that bad afterall.
I have had 3 functioning brain cells today and that thought was the best they could come up with I'm affraid.
When the others wake up tomorrow, I will rally the troops and write a real post...till then, gnight
This morning I was up with Olivia at 6:30 after getting up 7 times in the previous 4 hours, I finally gave in and started the day, under duress.
I got to thinking that if I could sleep in sprints maybe this running thing won't be all that bad afterall.
I have had 3 functioning brain cells today and that thought was the best they could come up with I'm affraid.
When the others wake up tomorrow, I will rally the troops and write a real post...till then, gnight
Friday, January 2, 2009
The first day of the rest of my life, well the 2009 portion of it anyways
Well, as many of you know, one of my many colourful mottos is 'Go Big or Go Home' and it's on that note that I enter into 2009 ~ the year of lofty goals.
This one might require you to be safely seated and perhaps have a glass of your favorite alcoholic beverage on hand. Are you ready?
I am going to run a marathon in May of this year. Yes folks, you read it right, a marathon, a whole 26 miles or 42 km.
I have a few minor details to sort out still.....I'm about 125 lbs overweight at present and as of today I cannot even run to the mailbox but as I said, minor, minor details.
In the spirit of my newfound ambition I have purchased a new pair of running shoes and Ben and I signed up for the gym today, which I am clearly counting as my first day of training.
I will keep you posted on my marathon progress as we go along.
I have decided to write a blog this year because for some strange reason, my life seems to happen at 10X the speed of everyone elses and I thought it would be fun to have a giggle at my own expense and share the general 'goingson' of this household.
On another note Olivia hit 13 lbs today and is doing quite well!
Please feel free to pass on the link to this blog as I need to up my readership, well I think I should strive for atleast one reader.
This one might require you to be safely seated and perhaps have a glass of your favorite alcoholic beverage on hand. Are you ready?
I am going to run a marathon in May of this year. Yes folks, you read it right, a marathon, a whole 26 miles or 42 km.
I have a few minor details to sort out still.....I'm about 125 lbs overweight at present and as of today I cannot even run to the mailbox but as I said, minor, minor details.
In the spirit of my newfound ambition I have purchased a new pair of running shoes and Ben and I signed up for the gym today, which I am clearly counting as my first day of training.
I will keep you posted on my marathon progress as we go along.
I have decided to write a blog this year because for some strange reason, my life seems to happen at 10X the speed of everyone elses and I thought it would be fun to have a giggle at my own expense and share the general 'goingson' of this household.
On another note Olivia hit 13 lbs today and is doing quite well!
Please feel free to pass on the link to this blog as I need to up my readership, well I think I should strive for atleast one reader.
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